


Breathless

by eccentrick



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Industrial Revolution, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Child Abuse, Deals a lot with souls and mortality, F/F, It gets better I promise, Kinda, M/M, Main pairings are Kiyoyachi and iwaoi, Major Character Injury, Morally Ambiguous Character, Multi, Temporary Character Death, no one stays dead, or more like character(s), probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-06-04 19:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6673387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccentrick/pseuds/eccentrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yachi Hitoka and her only loved ones, Hinata Shouyou and Kageyama Tobio are chimney sweeps, orphans who are picked up off the streets and forced to work in deplorable conditions for most of their short lives. </p><p>When one of those loved ones becomes gravely ill, she's willing to do anything. And when word on the street proclaims that Shimizu Kiyoko, daughter of wealthy doctors, can save anyone on the brink of death, Yachi Hitoka takes a chance. She can't let Hinata die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you read my other series, the notes for Amends said that this would be darker? Haha, well here it is. And this somehow became solely Kiyoyachi to Kiyoyachi/Iwaoi fic in my docs. I have no control. This has instances of child abuse, and angst.
> 
> Don't point out my historical inconsistencies, please. It's based off the industrial revolution, but it's my own universe. I did this because I knew I wouldn't be able to be historically accurate everywhere and not research myself to death. Keep an open mind please. 
> 
> Un-beta'd at the moment. (Still worried that instead of "Hitoka" there will be "Hisoka" since I'm HxH trash lol). Enjoy!

Yachi Hitoka's hands had long been stained with soot, the ashes packed into her fingerprints until there was no hope for it to ever go away. It was easier to wipe it off her arms, which was imprinted by the same substances as her palms, the once milky skin always having an off hue of gray. Almost like the dead. But she shouldn't feel sorry for herself, she had it easy compared to Shouyou.

Miyagi was a small city, but big enough to have brothels and black markets and child slaves. Big enough for the air to always be tinged with black smoke of the industry around them. It was a nice place to live, if you were wealthy, the middle class disappearing before everyone's eyes.

Where Hitoka lived, all they knew were black lungs and crooked knees. Hinata, Kageyama and Hitoka were orphans, bought from their small orphanage of Karasuno, to work as chimney sweeps. Now, Hitoka only worked as a chimney sweep on occasion, when one of the other children died and they were hard pressed for another, and a medic of sorts, learning how to clean wounds from years of improvisation, many children's blood on her hands, not being able to save them. She also cleaned and cooked (when they were given food), her days lasting twelve to eighteen hours.

But she mustn't complain.

Hinata, born ( _gifted_ , they said) will an eternal petite stature; that meant he was always small enough to work. So was Hitoka, though she was considered slightly more useful, being the healthiest out of all the workers. She only went up the chimney a few times a week, sometimes less, while the others worked everyday.

Life was hard and everyday seemed even more bleak than the one before it. But she made it her mission to be as positive as possible; she feared she might sound condescending, since most of the boys hated her. Every time she felt like she might cry, she smiled and smiled and bared it. It was her purpose and she was sticking to it.

Besides, she did not have the right to complain.  
______________

The one thing this breathless life gave them was rountine. At precisely five AM, they were awoken; her back always hurt from the basement floor, her soot covered excuse for a blanket not stopping any of her warmth from seeping into the hard, cold dirt floor.

They were all fed maybe three times a week if they were lucky and had performed well. If no one had gotten stuck, and no more than a single child died, it was sometimes bumped up to four. Today was not one of their feeding days, so there was no incentive to get up quickly; all of their bone hurt, the cold long burrowed into their marrow, their bodies having no way to defend against the frozen bite. No energy.

She still tried to get up quickly. Hitoka was up before anyone else, long awake due to the empty spot beside her still not filled, and the racking coughs coming from all around her. The blonde was responsible for all these lives, her almost self appointed job weighing down her stomach like a load of rocks.

Hitoka immediately recognized the certain cough next to her, jolting up too quickly for her body, her head spinning.

"Hinata-kun!" She whispered with panic. Her flighty tendencies betrayed her, her hands not knowing where to land, her knees creaking and shaking.

"Yacchan?"

It was troubling how quiet that reply was. Hinata laid down next to the imprint of Hitoka's body, gasping for breath. He looked like he was wasting away (he _was_ ), his eyes swollen from the soot, his hair matted down and no longer it's vibrant orange, stained into a shadow of what it once was. Without having to even look further down, she knew he was unlikely to be able to stand on his own, his knees and bones twisted. Hitoka would have to assist him, get him on his feet. If only Kageyama were here.

"Hinata-kun, let me help you," she insisted.

Hinata never really listened to anyone though, she should know that by now. The ginger slowly sat up, eyes slightly glazed over and his chest heaving to get enough air. He probably never would; Hitoka wanted don't be an optimist, but she knew that Hinata's days were numbered, and then he'd be nothing but a grave to sleep on.

Life was breathless here, and not in the nice way people were said to feel when they were privileged enough to feel happiness. No, here it was normal to always be short of breath, of oxygen, of life.

And she'd essentially all alone when Hinata finally escaped this air deprived world.

Yeah, there might be others, besides Kageyama (he would probably disappear once Hinata passed away, his grief too much for him.) But they were all younger than her, and had enough self preservation to stay away from her and her stumbled words. Hitoka was also seen as the "favorite" so she never faulted for the small ones to feel some resentment towards her. It was normal.

It also didn't help that she was always intimidated by them. The heavy feeling in her heart when she saw boss light the fire under their feet, to get them to climb higher up the chimney, and how she wasn't always expected to follow. Hitoka was a spare, there to do the dirty work, but less often than the others. She felt the immense impulse to always apologize, always be on edge around them. To be ashamed. She was the eldest besides Hinata, she was supposed to take care of them and all their misery. The best she could do was give them a trembling smile and kiss their callused knees.

"Yacchan," Hinata groaned in lieu of asking for assistance then instead of outright admitting needing help, finally on his feet. He smiled at her, more of wobbly grimace, but he was trying. He was trying to give her the smile that had convinced, encouraged Kageyama to run away, the bosses not even bothering to follow him like they might the other's, since he was no longer of use to them.

"Right," she answered, wrapping her small arms around the ginger's shoulder, leading him up the stairs slowly. By the time they reached the top they were both huffing for air.  
________________

The night had fallen, blanketing the city in a artificial calm. They all knew it wasn't real, because behind the calm abating the storm, was the crooks and thieves scurrying around the alleyways like mice and rats. Rodents, pests, destroying the walls that held everything up from the inside out.

Hitoka thought she might jump out of her skin every time she ventured outside, sneaking out of her prison once a week. Hinata didn't even know she did this until recently, his shortness of breath waking him up throughout the night. He had confronted her, and she had felt tears of panic make their way to the corner of her eyes, disgusted at them that they had kept this from Hinata. When she refused to say where she had been, the fragile ginger had left the subject alone, only telling her to be careful (Hinata probably didn't have the energy to pry, for Hitoka would have cracked if he had questioned her any further).

But Kageyama had insistently begged her not to tell. So she wouldn't. Couldn't.

Hitoka managed to sneak her way through the streets, and got to their meeting spot in one piece; in one piece, but not okay, her heart beating at her lungs, those lungs incompetent of keeping up with her surging desperation. She was bone tired, and by the time she'd get back to Hinata, she wouldn't be able to get any sleep. But it was a sacrifice she always made to keep Kageyama in the loop, to make sure he knew how Hinata was fairing.

Their meeting place was always different, something they decided at the end of each conversation. This time it was in the alley next to Kageyama's old home; they wouldn't have to worry about being recognized or seen, since Kageyama had been a young child when his parents died. And it was more of a lot anymore, the roof caving in and the foundation sinking into the ground. Most people thought of it as a harzard, so they never dared to snoop around.

Hitoka was always the first to arrive. She couldn't lie to herself that she didn't mind, but it's not like either of them could help it. Kageyama got there when he was able, and he usually wasn't punctual.

"Yachi-san."

But when he did arrive he always cut to the chase.

She turned quickly, squeaking in distress at the surprise, which shouldn't really be a surprise; Kageyama was light on his feet and quiet, the opposite of Hinata.

"Kageyama-kun," she greeted, embarrassed when the black haired boy bowed to her.

Kageyama was an awkward lad, a great deal taller than Hitoka, which wasn't saying much since she was smaller than Hinata. His hair had grown longer since she last saw him, the awkward angles of his last self given haircut growing out into long strands over his dark blue eyes. He was handsome, if you could take looking him in the eyes, which Hitoka had only recently learned how to. Kageyama Tobio was formidable, his expression always closed off and angular. She had only seen him soften in the presence of Hinata, when the ginger wasn't annoying him, and lately, herself.

"How is he?" The taller teen asked grimly.

She winced, "Not so good, Kageyama-kun. I f-fear he doesn't have much longer." Her voice cracked toward the end, and she sniffled.

At the words Kageyama's face twisted in the beginnings of grief. He looked terrifying, his face darkened and _angry_ , and Hitoka took a step back despite herself; she knew that he wasn't someone to be afraid of, that his emotions were stunted at best, and he was just faced with losing his best friend, the person that got him through all the tough times and darkness. Hitoka had come after, she had met them as a pair, and they were as inseparable as they were infuriating towards each other. She gave him a few minutes as she wrung her hands, itching to comfort Kageyama.

Kageyama's face smoothed, a blank expression overtaking the grief, "We're going to get him out."

Hitoka stood up straighter,"W-what?!"

Kageyama stomped closer to her, getting so close that they were face to face, gripping her shoulders.

"We're going to get him out, Yachi-san. He can't d-" the male choked, "He can't die there, I won't allow it."

"But! But Kageyama-kun! I-if we could easily get out of there, believe me! We would've a long time ago. If we get him out, and I mean _if_ , because it would be really hard, ya know?! I mean if we could it would be really hard! Really hard! Th-the bosses w-would know! It would be impossible, Kageyama-kun!"

The veil of indifference lifted a bit on Kageyama's face, to be replaced by confusion as he tilted his head to the left.

"Huh?"

Hitoka floundered, "I mean it won't be too easy!"

"Would it be hard or impossible? There is a difference."

Kageyama spoke quietly, slowly. He seemed to be trying to be as unopposing as possible; it was well known she startled easily, since it was always a point of amusement back at the "home".

"W-well, maybe not _completely_  impossible," she admitted.

"I'm going to ask you to get involved, Yachi-san. But I won't force you to help, because I know it could be very dangerous for you. But no matter what I will find a way to get Hinata out of there, one way or another." Kageyama scoffed, laughing bitterly, at nothing,"The _idiot_ , if only he had listened and come with me when I ran he wouldn't have gotten so bad. If only I had gotten you two out."

Hitoka comtemplated for a beat. If she helped Kageyama, she may very well get herself killed. If the bosses found out, they would beat her, possibly worse. But, she also knew that Hinata had very little time left on this Earth, and he deserved to be able to breathe fresh air, to have a few precious moments out of his fifteen years where he could _breathe_. He'd still gasp, he'd still struggle, but if they got him out he would inhale his first and likely last gulps of fresh air, it would be worth it.

But what about the others? The other children--resentful towards her, yes, maybe-- needed her. She couldn't just leave them on their own, could she? Would Hitoka's absence hinder the other's, just make their lives even harder? But, she knew, if any of them got this chance, they would take it. When you're in that sort of environment, there's no question. She would do it. So finally Hitoka asked.

"What do you want me to do?"

 


	2. escape plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I got a few chapters finished ahead before because if I hadn't I'd have lost all motivation. I was hoping for a better response but I'm going to try again! 
> 
> This chapter is betaed by my best bro, Jazz, and she also has a fic, so check it out @jazzstardust! It's a pirate/mer au and it's wonderful. 
> 
> I am not a medical expert, so this probably isn't the most accurate but I've kept it as vague as possible! This is really fast paced but I felt it was right because if it was slower it would take away from Yachi's desperation to save Hinata! Around chapter 5 it should slow down as Kiyoko is introduced!

The next day, Hinata began to cough up blood.

It wasn't that it was sudden that threw Hitoka off, it was this was happening _at all_  in the first place. Hinata, the sweetest person she knew, was sitting half in her lap, coughing up globs of blood and ash, choking on gulps of air.

It was too soon. It was not soon enough.

Kageyama had thankfully thought ahead (which was surprising) and had figured this would happen. He had seen this disease in action many times, had seen the effects and stages. But so had Hitoka; she had to admit she hadn't wanted to see the red signs when it came to Hinata, because she had not wanted to come to terms of her friend's mortality. Hitoka was forced to see death around her everyday, to see what she would eventually come to, her own death reflected back at her in their glassy eyes. She just never let herself see Hinata's.

That had been a mistake.  
___________

The one thing this life gave them was routine. Every morning, they would be awoken at precisely five AM. Their rickety bones would protest their movements, morning stretches and all, but they had no choice in the matter. It was get up or get beaten, and everyone always chose the former.

Routine is what would give Hinata the sky.

Hitoka always woke up before everyone else, the wheezing and moans of pain and sadness waking her, sometimes never letting her rest at all. She didn't mind, because it was an everyday normalcy that she was used to, it was familiar. Familiarity.

It was normal but still hard to get going, forcing your immobile body to move and continue moving. Everyone would have to find ways to cope, shortcuts and procedures. _It's been two hours, only ten more to go. In another two hours, it will only be eight more hours to go, and so on. Just like yesterday and the day before that._

A countdown of sorts, at least for her, helped. Looking at Hinata, his cheeks stained red with fever and hair matted to his forehead with sweat, his chest heaving shallowly. _Two more days at most._ Only this time she didn't want to count down the hours, the minutes, the seconds. She wanted to make time stop, so her friend could live forever in that moment. It would be in discomfort, she knew, but she also knew she was selfish. Foolish.

Hitoka didn't care.

She was stupid for getting involved, for risking everything to get Hinata out of here. But she also remembered the time that the ginger, followed by a grumpy black haired boy, greeted her at the orphanage. And how she followed them to her present place of torture. They were all the best of friends.

It was surprising how the nobblers never seemed to be bothered by their cries. Never woke up in the dead of night to bang the bell at the top of the creaky stairs, yell at them to shut up. Did that mean they _never heard their despair?_  Did that mean they never heard Hitoka consoling the new children, cleaning up their skinned knees, newly fit for calluses, never heard the dying gasps of a child who just barely reached adolescence?

Normally she would feel sad, angry, bitter to their masters' willingly deaf ears, but now she saw it as a potential gateway to freedom. They never heard her leaving. So maybe they would never hear _them_  leaving, Hitoka and Hinata.

"Yacchan, what are you thinking so hard about?"

She snapped her head so quickly towards the wavering voice that she might have given herself whiplash, but that was normal now, with Hinata needing constant supervision should he take the final bad turn.

She smiled down at the ginger. "Nothing, just wondering how to act towards the new arrivals."

Hitoka was referencing to the newly "adopted" batch of small children that would undoubtedly be coming soon. It was normal for some to come every few weeks, ranging from one to three children. Hinata gave a shake of his head.

He smiled anyway. "I might be pretty stupid," he paused to chase after another elusive breath, "but I know when one of my best friends is...lying."

The small female let out a guilty squawk, a loud sound from such a small body. The sickly teen just grimaced knowingly at her, looking every bit a defeated youth, how they all look towards the final year.

"It-it's not that I'm l-lying... I'm just, no-not being completely... truthful? Yeah, that."

Another set of racking coughs rattled Hinata. He sat up violently as to not choke on the blood, spitting it down beside him. Hitoka wiped his brow delicately after he settled back against her, more out of breath than before.

"I'm... sorry, Yacchan." He sounded solemn, which, if you knew the sprite, never happened. Hinata was almost never apologetic, never frequently bashful. Boastful, maybe, but never timid. It really showed how much someone's life impacts them. Like she hadn't always known that.

"For what?"

Hinata took a few moments to gather his words, and his breath, "When I'm gone, you will... have to work more. I'm sorry, it will be all my... my fault."

Hitoka hushed him, caressing his knotted hair with more fervor than before.

"It's not your fault, Hinata-kun, never blame yourself, please?" She looked at him fiercely, or as fiercely as say a baby bird, until he nodded gently. "I didn't want to tell you before, but we're planning to get you out."

She made sure to whisper the last bit, even though no one was there to listen, certainly not the younger children. They were all out working, Hitoka staying behind after convincing their masters that she needed to stay with Hinata as he passed, leading them to believe that Hinata was much worse than he actually was. They had smiled like they were giving her such a luxury, letting her witness someone she considered family die, before reassuring her that she would be expected to work the next day. They were just frightened of Hinata's possible angry spirit lingering if his body was left too long. Never wanting the bodies to sit long enough to rot and smell, their angry spirit attaching to the land that gave them so much torment.

"'We' being...?"

"Kageyama-kun and I."

The ginger's mouth opened in an O, shocked, until he shook his head back and forth weakly.

"It's too risky."

"I know, but I want to do it. We need to do it."

Hinata relaxed, the type that spanned the whole body, muscles unclenching in a way that spoke of true relief. The kind when you quit fighting the immovable wall ahead of you that was life, in turn to just let the wind move you along, sometimes in the wrong direction. Hitoka was the type that needed to know what was ahead of her, but Hinata, Hinata went with flow gladly, a free spirit of sorts. Maybe that was why Hinata never seemed to be bothered by his deadly disease, because that's where the breeze took him.

"Well, now is as good as time as any," Hinata breathed out.

"Will you be able to make it?" She didn't want to push him. If they pushed him to move too much, he'd need more air, which is something he struggled to get now, laying on the dirt floor.

Hitoka and Kageyama were probably being foolish and selfish. He might live longer if they left him lying there, but here he was just breathing in more dust and grit. It was a lose-lose situation, no matter what they did, they couldn't fight the inevitable. That left a bitter taste in her mouth, tears starting at the corner of her eyes.

"I'll sure as hell try," Hinata said steadily.  
____________________

Hitoka barely remembered her mother. The stern look that she always wore, and the severe twist of her blonde hair. The same color as Hitoka's. Her mother was a servant of a cruel merchant, or noble, she couldn't remember, but her mother had never wavered or cried. She was so strong.

She had tried to make her daughter the same way, strong. Most days Hitoka was positive that it had failed long ago, someone as small and pathetic as her not deserving of her mother's memory. Sometimes though, like now, she felt that maybe her mother was looking down on her proudly, all while Hitoka was holding up her best friend as he coughed up his lungs. Maybe she had enough courage buried deep within her, the sad and traumatizing moments of her childhood covering up the grave. But now she was digging it back up, breathing it in, not thinking about how it would sit within her heavy lungs. Determined not to let it matter.

Her legs trembled, her knees threatening to give out and make both the blonde and ginger tumble down the steep stairs. Hitoka wasn't strong enough to carry Hinata on her back, so that had settled for him leaning heavily on her, Hitoka half dragging him as he struggled to walk.

The door creaked open under her pressure, and she peaked out the crack. Guarding the door was one of their fat bellied owners, "babysitting" them, or more like making sure they don't get away while all the others were gone.

This was the biggest problem in her plan of getting them out of there. Usually he drank, yes, but he was so much larger than her. It would be difficult to get past him. She was faster and more nimble, but with Hinata she didn't have a chance. Unless...

"Hinata-kun, can you stay silent for a little while? And go limp?" She barely moved her lips, her voice more of a breath than a sound. Hinata nodded.

Holding back a sob of terror, her heart racing, could feel it in her finger tips, Hitoka ventured out of from behind the door.

"Um... s-sir?"

The man turned towards her timid voice, fat cigar hanging from his lips, which resembled big fat worms. A game of cards was laid out before him, beady eyes narrowed.

"What, boy?"

She was shaking like a leaf, but felt some figment of relief. They forgot she was, well, a girl. That was a good thing, because she knew what happened to girls in a place full of disgusting men.

"W-well..."

"Speak up, _boy_."

She could hear Hinata wheezing next to her, hand clenched on the back of her shirt from the effort of not coughing, nor breathing deeply. If she didn't get him out of here, he would die right then.

"Uh... he, he passed, sir." She gestured her head towards the ginger, who had about the skin pallet of a corpse. It wasn't a long stretch.

The man, Yashiro, if she remembered correctly, breathed out smoke, upsetting the poor excuse of a mustache that sat above his lips, which was eclipsed by a beaky nose.

It was silent as he contemplated, ash falling from his cigar. It fell in his lap, but he didn't seem to notice if it burned. Even though there was an absence of noise in that moment, it was too loud for Hitoka, between the wheezing, her own heart, and the burn of the cigarette.

He snorted in irritation, "Well, what are you waiting for, idiot? Put the weakling in the usual spot."

He dismissed her after that, and they were almost free. It had been too easy, but she figured her desperate, drawn face had the look of grief, and maybe the right amount of hopelessness. The blonde wasn't sure, but she knew she felt her limbs almost completely give out.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Hinata fell to his knees on the walkway, choking and vomiting, clawing at his chest relentlessly. She didn't want to rush him, but they needed to get out of here before Yashiro got suspicious of how long she was taking to dump a body, as they were fast running out of places to bury the dead.

They needed to get away quick, but quicker still was Hitoka's rising sense of despair.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this please tell me. Please. If you want to see more of this fic than I need some feedback for motivation. Thank you for reading regardless!


	3. a lot under the weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I thank anyone who continues to read this! 
> 
> This is unedited. My beta is really busy and I don't wanna bother her when she has more important things that need done (like studying for exams ugh) so forgive any mistake you see please. She _has_ read through it though and said it isn't in need of a big edit or anything and wouldn't let me post it if it was unfit to read. I'd like to thank her for reading and helping me with fic, and I'll ask you to check out her own fanfic @jazzstardust. It's good, trust me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter~

It was raining. Not the kind of a light sprinkle, or a gentle shower, but the type of rain that pelted everything in its path with a vengeance that spoke of pressure and release, and Hitoka liked to think of it as sort of cleansing. Black ran down her arms, the coal and ash that wasn't packed into her skin rolling off her body in a consistent stream, the gray clothes she wore sticking to her skin in an unseemly manner, her skirt tripping her. It wouldn't be a bother if it was not for a certain ginger that the blonde was trying to shield from the merciless drops of water mixed with ash.

The weather was both a blessing and a nuisance; the rain helped stave off any type of search for her, the owners not likely to look for one fit worker in this rain, while it did make Hinata worse, his fever spiking.

If they didn't get somewhere fast, somewhere dry, then Hinata wasn't going to make it through the night. If it kept raining he wouldn't be able to see the sky fully, which was what Hitoka wanted in the first place, besides fresh air. A chance for Hinata to say farewell to the earth before he reached the heavens.

She managed to get him to a back alley, the one where she and Kageyama had met up, the eve spouts leaking and only a little bit of coverage was given. But it was enough, so she half dragged, half carried Hinata, the wind pelting water into her eyes and face, making it even more difficult to breath than usual. Hinata groaned and hissed, his heavy breathing in her ear labored and strenuous. Why now of all times did the weather have to be this way? She'd rather have to hide from the cruel men that had owned her for much of her life.

Hitoka leaned her friend against the back wall, not well seen from the road, and collapse down next to him. The blonde's hands and feet were numb from the cold water seeping into her skin and hole riddled boots, fingers aching and clumsy. She attempted to catch her breath, her smarting muscles begging for a reprieve. But she couldn't let herself get comfortable -- or as comfortable as she could in this situation -- because she still had to keep watch and wait for Kageyama to show. It was risky to wait here since they had already used this as a meeting place but if she didn't make it to their official gathering place he would definitely check the others.

Hinata went back and forth between consciousness, his breathing waning along with his seeping body warmth. Hitoka couldn't exactly tell if his fever had broken or if he was just shivering from the cold, but she wasn't counting on it with him being this sick. The young girl wasn't going to naively count on what ifs at this point.

Her surroundings were useless she observed. She wasn't as savvy as Kageyama when it came to survival, but she knew how to make a fire. But with all the wetness, any once usable substance like abandoned bits of wood was now futile.

She was panicking, Hitoka realized. She was panicking because she was seeing her friend dwindle into nothing and she had no idea what to do about. Her breathing quickened in her anxiety, her soaked hair sticking to her scalp heavily, resembling damp straw. Another thing that was useless. She had been counting on Kageyama getting here soon, but with the darkening sky telling her that it was probably unquestionably clear that the black haired thief would not be able to make it for whatever reason.

Hitoka needed to take care of this by herself.

 _I can do this_ , she chanted to herself, _you're on your own here, and there's no one to get in your way_. She jolted, pondering;  _oh yes, there could be. I don't know who lurks here! What if this is someone's territory and they'd come cut Hinata and I into tiny bits?!_

She realized that her fears weren't unfounded, but they weren't very rational either. Taking this time to wrap Hinata tighter up in the blanket that was already tucked around him, she fidgeted in distress. She hadn't thought this out, not enough, she was unprepared! Hitoka was not one for impulsive decisions, but where she was right now spoke of her desperation.

Looking over to where Hinata leaned against her shoulders, she sighed. She didn't regret breaking out of the hell, but at what cost? This trip, running away, had probably shaved hours, even a day, off of Hinata's life expectancy, and those precious few moments was all he had. She wasn't trying to play at being a god, but the small girl felt she had almost not given Hinata a choice at all. She should have, since this was the boy's life, not hers _nor_ Kageyama's. It was stupid of her.

Too late now, though.

Shaking hands reached towards Hinata, bringing him close, his fiery hair tickling Hitoka's chin. The rain had washed away most of the muck and grime that had built up over the years, never having been fully washed. His gaunt cheeks were flushed and warm against her cold skin, while the rest of him was disturbingly cold and stiff. If Hitoka didn't feel his weak breath upset her drying hair, she would have thought him dead. Taking Hinata's boney hands into hers, the joints twisted and grotesque, from all the years working as a chimney sweep, she placed them in her lap, observing their difference in complexion chilling.

Limp hands gripped hers, and she gasped aloud.

"Hinata-kun!"

Hinata coughed roughly, blood splattering her dress, dyeing it a muted red. He tried to lift his head.

"Stay down, Hinata, please," Hitoka whispered shakily.

"Is...Kageyama there?"

The hopeful tone almost entirely tore down the last of the dam holding back the tears that constantly threatened to flood out.

"He'll be here soon, don't worry," Hitoka said after a long pause, threading their fingers together.

The rain had finally tapered off, the once quick pattern of the raindrops slowing into a steady staccato rhythm. It created an eerie atmosphere, like the world had stopped or was moving on without them, and really, that was probably true. Wagons wheels squeaked, Hinata wheezed, and Hitoka held back sobs. Time was leaving them behind.

Hitoka wasn't sure whether her body was shivering from the bitter bite of the cold all the way down to her marrow or if it was the shock and severity of the situation at hand. She didn't get much time to comtemplate before the puddles at the entrance of the alley stirred, the splashing sounding harsh.

She hunched over, shielding Hinata.

The question sounded fragile, "Yachi?"

Her body deflated in relief. It was just Kageyama, he was finally here. She squinted, the natural light ebbing, and saw his stick figure silhouette, his limp slowing his gait, which she would recognize anywhere.

"Is he here?" Kageyama asked, coming closer until she could truly see him. His posture was hunched over, defeated, hands in the pockets of his tattered pants. His already dark hair looked like midnight now, sticking to his forehead in a severe manner. Hitoka had never been more relieved and happy to see someone than she was now.

"Of course, Kageyama-kun, he was just asking for you too." The blonde's grip on her friend loosened, not enough to let him touch the filthy ground, but enough for him to stir a bit, eyes cracking open.

Hinata looked a bit better, but that might be from the goofy smile he made when his hazy eyes fell on Kageyama, who was now leaning down, sighing as he got his weight off his damaged knees. The ginger took a deep breath as if to cough, only for his attempt to end with a series of heavy hacks.

"S-shhh, don't try to talk Hinata-kun," she reminded him.

"Telling Hinata not to talk is like asking him not to annoy the shit out of me," Kageyama joked, the smile on his face soft and warm, not meant for Hitoka's viewing. Hinata lightly tapped Kageyama on the arm in return.

Kageyama had always been strange; she remembered him, when he was just a gangly, innocent kid, just as scared as the rest of them. He and Hinata had been living at the orphanage much longer than she had, having been there since they could remember. It was a cruel life, she knew, but they had stayed together despite their persistent bickering. Hitoka had originally thought that they hated each other, and had countlessly made efforts in mediating the worst of their arguments. But, she soon came to see, that she wasn't needed in that respect. They worked themselves out, never staying away from other like they orbited towards the other. The worst had been once, when they had gotten in a physical fight, and refused to talk to one another for a week or two. That was right before they were given "work".

Sometimes Hitoka felt out of place, felt that the trio should be more of a duo, but they had never meant to make her feel unwanted. It was just how they are, or more like, were. 

Kageyama was forced to leave them, since he damaged his knees too seriously to be useful, becoming a petty thief. Hinata had never gotten fully over it as much as he wanted to fool Hitoka. 

So that explained why Kageyama was so precarious about getting Hinata out of there. She did not blame him.

* * *

It did not take long for Kageyama to see how bad Hinata's condition had gotten.

He had managed, with the help of Hitoka, to light a fire. It was a small one, one that barely gave off any smoke, which was a good thing. She'd breathed in enough in her lifetime. They laid Hinata down next to it, Kageyama's thin coat cushioning Hinata from the damp, cold ground. He had finally managed to fall into a decent sleep, fever lessening as far as Hitoka could tell. But, not before he almost coughed his lungs up, his small body rattling from the force, blood coating Kageyama's jacket underneath him.

As Hitoka soothed the ginger by rubbing his back gently, while Kageyama turned away, the fire reflecting the angles of his face, his pinched, bitter expression.

Kageyama looked like he wanted to kill someone.

He probably did.

The black haired youth gripped his knees and winced, a snarl on his face.

"We have to save him, I ain't gonna let him die."

Hitoka shot him a bewildered look, "I figure nothing can save him now, Kageyama-kun."

"We have to try!" He said it with such conviction, gritting his teeth. Hitoka could have sworn that she glimpsed tears in his eyes before he blinked them away.

"Even if we did...say, find a way, I don't think we could afford it. I mean, we got nothing to offer in exchange."

"I refuse!"

"But-"

"They say there's a hospital that takes any patient," Kageyama interrupted, "I ain't too smart, but I figure I can work as a way to pay."

"Kageyama, you know better than to trust rumors."

The small fire they had going between them was dimming now, the miniscule embers floating through the air with fervor before dying in the air. Hitoka didn't appreciate the ominous air around them, dense with tension and unresolved emotions; she felt it was a bad omen, but her mother had always scolded her for being too superstitious. Perhaps she was. Hinata moved in his sleep, awakening for a moment before his eyelids got to heavy for him to stay conscious.

Hitoka had led herself to believe that Kageyama wanted to get Hinata out so he could see him before he died. She should have known that Kageyama wouldn't have given up so easily, not being one to lose drive in the face of adversity. It had always been a trait Hitoka had envied, but now she was just tired and run down.

But when Kageyama made half conceived plans for the next morning, she didn't argue. They say conviction is contagious, but she didn't need much convincing in the first place.  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter done for awhile now, but I always like to be a chapter ahead before I post a new one, so sorry for the wait and hope you enjoyed! Comment or kudos please, they give me life force~ Especially comments. 
> 
> Joint tumblr with my beta @eccentrick-stardust~


	4. frozen breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nervous about this one...please tell me what you all think. I'm happy with the response I've been getting for this story, thank you all so much!!!
> 
> Unbetaed at the moment. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Hitoka didn't sleep a wink the whole night, her eyes trained on Hinata's bright hair through the darkness, laying close enough so she could make sure that Hinata was still breathing, fingers wrapped around Hinata's wrist to make sure there was still a pulse. Counting the seconds, the heartbeats, the breaths, until she found she couldn't count any higher, not knowing what came next.

Her entire thought process felt repetitive; reused, unusable, unproductive. She's scared, no _terrified._  She's tired. She's desperate for this situation to end, for everything to be, not normal, but better, _safe_. All those unrealistic thoughts did was make the stuffy feeling under her skin that much more noticable, her brain communicating the inevitable threat down to her heart, which in turn beated against her ribcage in warning, her blood roaring through her veins like a battle cry.

One breath. Two breaths. Hinata's chest made a ragged incline, before exhaling bit by bit, slowly falling. Hitoka would know, she'd been watching this pattern for most of the night. Kageyama, his body lying a good bit away from Hinata, his hand wrapped around the ginger's tenderly, was breathing slowly and evenly, relatively healthy lungs in contrast to Hinata's.

It was strange how far away he was from Hinata. Hitoka knew that Kageyama wasn't afraid of contagion, having helped her treat the sick before, not that what the other male had was something someone could catch. Hinata would also be warmer with another body holding him closer, shielding the small boy from the cold.

She must have fallen asleep some time during her contemplating, and woke up feeling as if she had found an answer during the night, only to forget it in the morning. Like a dream. The fire had gone out, no lingering sparks or smoke, smelling of moldy wood, a musty scent that made the blonde wrinkle her nose.

Hitoka got up slowly, Hinata and Kageyama still sleeping. They had huddled together in the time she was unconscious, the ginger's hand fisted to his chest, mouth gaping open in hopes of more air. Swaying slightly, she heard splashing underfoot as she stood.

She had stepped in a puddle. That alone wasn't shocking or unnerving, it was the fact that she had not felt the cold water seep into her old boot.

Hurriedly kicking off her boots, she ripped the sock off her right foot swiftly, inspecting the numb appendage. The skin had a gray tinge, her toes blue and frozen. She bent the big toe, not feeling it at all. Her left foot was still intact, a pale peach color.

A groan upset her panic, her body automatically turning towards the source of the sound. Kageyama began to sit up, rubbing the heels of his hand against his closed eyelids, yawning sleepily.

"Yachi? You're already up?"

The sun had just begun to sit itself in the sky, high enough for light to shine down from its resting place. Hitoka could already see plumes of smoke rising, knowing that the bosses would probably begin searching for her again soon, if not already.

Hinata rolled towards Kageyama when he felt the other's warmth leave his side. His own coughing roused him, blood coming up onto his shaking fingers. The cold had gotten to him too, it seemed, his fingers chilly and useless. Either that or little blood flow, which spoke of something too early in the dawn to think about. He reached for Kageyama, huffing when he found his spot empty.

Hitoka felt Kageyama's concerned gaze on her back as she tried to stoke the ashes, hoping to find any traces of warmth left, positive there was none but still searching.

Hope was like the dying flints of ash; it might give you heat to go on, but you had to keep stoking it over and over again, relentlessly searching for something to look upon, to see and think _there, it can't be that bad, right?_

Hinata's hacking did not cease its attack, doubling him over in pain. Kageyama left Hitoka alone to rush to him, holding the back of his neck in a reassuring measure while Hinata croaked for something to drink. The blonde felt glad to have the attention diverted from her, especially since the almost phantom like ache was nothing compare to the other's ailment; this was nothing, she'd be fine.

Kageyama nodded towards Hitoka before he left to steal them a meal. He came back with nothing, but a pack of matches and a tin cup. This proved useful enough for neither Hinata nor Hitoka to care; Hinata didn't feel like eating anyway, his fever spiking and sweat coating his skin despite his violent shivering.

As the morning wore on, Hitoka's foot throbbed. She had tried to put it next to the fire that had been lit by the matches, half being faulty due to the dampness of the scraps. This only made her flinch and for it to hurt even more than before. Luckily, the day was proving to be warmer than the other before it.

"Here," Kageyama said, handing her their only beat up tin cup. The water had been boiled, the temperature now lukewarm. It wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, but she wasn't complaining. It quenched her dry throat just fine.

The sense of being suspended in time hovered over them; Kageyama never left Hinata's side, a scary look on his face the whole time he assisted Hinata drink, bundling the fragile male in his arms, his head lolling back limply, eyes staring blank. Something deep within her chest burned and pulled, almost as if it was going to cave in to her distress. She wouldn't be surprised, honestly, Hitoka not being sure how she's survived thus far.

She was beginning to think it didn't matter if she did.  
_______________________

It was her shift to look after Hinata. It had been a great deal of trouble to get Kageyama to take a brief break, Hitoka having to keep the ginger in the dark haired male's sights at all times as he leaned against her bony shoulder, huffs stirring her knotted blonde locks.

She hardly noticed the disturbance, it becoming white noise a while ago, until it wasn't there, her hair no longer moving as if blown by a gentle breeze. She froze, in turn holding her breath as she comes to the realization.

"Kageyama!"

He jumped, startled before he rushes to her side without Hitoka having to voice anything else other than his name. She sounded strangely jilted, no great infliction of emotion in her voice. Too in shock.

"He's not breathing, Kageyama-kun! He's not breathing!"

Kageyama raced over, not giving away any hint of a limb in his horror. He snatched the ginger from his now cold perch against her shoulder, laying him down on his back on the dirty alley floor.

He was the picture of serene; his already pale skin took on an even whiter sheen, the cheeks that were once burdened with the redness of fever and once blessed with the fervor of youth were as colorless as snow. His lips were tinged blue, not yet a solid color.

He needed time! It wasn't supposed to be this soon, or this quietly! He was supposed to go out swinging, like he did every night he fell asleep, in between Hitoka and Kageyama! She remembered how he had begged her to switch places once Kageyama left, because he couldn't bare to look at the always empty spot on the floor. It had never been filled by other children, like it represented Hinata's grief. He still hadn't seen the sun shine, the overcast thicker than before as if knowing it had lost an important person.

"Hitoka! Go get help!" Kageyama barked.

"R-right!"

She was gone like a flash, her frost bitten foot forgotten in the haze that surrounded her mind as soon as she had felt the absence of Hinata's comforting breath on her cheek. It was as if her brain was softening the blow of the inevitable sever, the lose of someone essential to her. Like a three legged table; two couldn't hold everything up by themselves.

Hitoka admits that probably wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, but didn't they deserve to at least be able to stay together? Life had given them the short straw, given them the dare to continue on existing when everyone did their damnest to put them down.

And usually they met that challenge head on, Hinata and Kageyama hand in hand, or rather racing the other, while Hitoka followed behind, trying to catch up only to have the other two wait for her a step away from the finish line. It was always comforting.

Now the entire dynamic would be off, when they couldn't save Hinata.

_No, if._ She mentally could not take the probable death, and she had always thought of herself as positive when needed. She would find someone, something, _anything_ , that could save the ginger, and that's just how it was all going to work out. Hitoka would let herself believe that, _make_ herself believe.

The alley seemed much longer now in the new daylight, her feet pounding the packed dirt under her as she continued to run full speed, heart in her throat. Her lungs burned, as did her legs, but she persevered, weaving the back alleys to not draw any unnecessary attention until she saw fit.

Hitoka committed every twist and turn to memory; it would be no use if she got someone willing to help and couldn't find her way back to the patient. It was at least one way she was never useless; her memory is sharp, a way to stay safer in her unforgiving environment.

It had been too long since she had left the two, she calculated. Now was as good as time any to catch someone's attention and put herself in the clutches of another's mercy.

She came around the bend, a dirt road not often used by the lack of tracks carving the way for others. It felt like a hopeless endeavor, stopping there, but she used the few brief seconds to catch her breath, letting her lungs attempt to run after her heart. Hands to her knees, gulping, is when she saw the carriage.

It was pristine; the edges were frilly and all together too flashy for many's tastes, but Hitoka liked it just fine. The powder blue color -- or maybe it was lavender? -- stood out against the dreariness of its surroundings, like a beacon of hope. It was fairly large, but not obnoxiously so, fitting what the blonde estimated as five people at the most. The fellow driving had his head down, dressed as impeccably as one would expect from the passenger, not hired help.

Not thinking ahead, Hitoka dashed in front of the horses. The driver stirred then, reeling in the large animals just in time, their nostrils flaring in irritation, muscles twitching as they huffed in Hitoka's face.

"S-sir! Please! I need help! My friend! He's- he's dying!" She rambled on.

The man's cap fell as he hopped down, displaying silver hair and kind eyes. At least Hitoka hoped they were kind, because that was something she was relying on.

"Calm down, miss," the driver exclaimed, eclipsed by the squeaking of the cabin door.

"Is everything alright?" Came the soft voice.

Immediately Hitoka went to the woman passenger, tripping over herself as the driver attempted to stop her from approaching his employer.

"Please! You have to help me! He's going to die if I don't get someone to help, he's go-"

"Did you say someone is injured, miss," the sophisticated woman asked, brushing her hair behind her ears.

"He's sick, he's sick! Help him, please! I'll do anything you ask!"

"Kiyoko," the driver said it like a warning. The woman held firm, causing the man to sigh.

"Take me to them, young miss."  
_____________

She lead the rich woman through the battered streets. When Hitoka picked up speed to a sprint, she was right behind her the whole time. Not for the first time along the way the blonde girl hoped that this wasn't a mistake, leading a complete stranger to her ailing best friend. But she figured that there wasn't much anyone could do to hurt the trio than to have Hinata die.

When they got to the place that the three of them had taken refuge for the past day, the sight they came upon was not pretty. Kageyama sat on his knees, cradling Hinata's limp body to his chest. Hitoka could see that his shoulders were shaking relentlessly as he rocked back and forth, but she couldn't hear a sound. The black haired male did not even register the two of them as they got closer, not until Hitoka gently touched his shoulder.

He recoiled, slapping the hand away roughly, hitting Hitoka; or it would have, if not for the woman Kiyoko, who fluidly caught the distraught boy's forearm.

"I presume this is the boy you were talking about, miss," her voice was so smooth and calm, as if the sight before did nothing to rattle her. She was gazing down at Hinata.

"Y-yes." She tried her hardest not to sob.

"Do not worry, he'll be fine."

Then the young woman took Hinata from Kageyama's arms. He couldn't even register the loss in time, not before the woman leaned her head down, and placed her lips onto Hinata's.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hanger *dun dun duuun*. Please feel free to comment/kudos/subscribe. Tell me what you all think!


	5. talking to ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many updates this week now? I'm not sure. All I know is I have zero patience, when I finish the chapter ahead, I'm itching to post the previous one (I always like to be one chapter ahead). 
> 
> But this chapter is different. This chapter is the last one of this **arc**. And that means the next chapters might be awhile, since I'm gearing up for the next arc, which really starts the plot, which makes me nervous *sweats*. This is the longest I've stayed with a particular project that's multichaptered, and that's thank to my wonderful beta's encouraging me and all your lovely comments! 
> 
> Unbetaed.
> 
> Enjoy!

In that moment, as the noble woman's lips descented onto Hinata's, time seem to fracture and pause. Even her breath ceased, abruptly halting in her lungs.   Hitoka's limps stiffened, her muscles constricting in shock and disbelief. What was going on? She had asked for this woman to help Hinata, not assault him!

The woman that the driver had called Kiyoko separated her lips from Hinata's, taking a deep breath as her head hovered over the ginger's, before she pressed their foreheads together gently, both of her palms holding Hinata's cheeks to keep his head in place. Her brow was furrowed, a grimace making its way over her refined features.

Kageyama lunged forward, having just gotten over the initial shock; Hitoka followed, holding him back.

"Let off!" He growled, attempting to get up again before his knees went out from under him.

"No, Kageyama! Look!"

Laying before them, was Hinata. Kiyoko seemed to have finished what strange thing she had been doing, sitting back on her knees. His color was coming back, seeping into the pores of his skin bit by bit right before their eyes, beginning from his face down, blue and pale to peach and brightness and life.

He looked alive.

Kageyama sucked in a breath, collapsing in disbelief, resting his head on Hinata's chest. Hitoka managed to stand, looking down on Hinata in hope.

The ginger suddenly sat up, head butting Kageyama in the process. Kageyama hissed and Hinata gasped for air, a surprised expression blooming on his face.

"Ow!"

"I can breath!"

Both of them spoke at the same time, Kageyama rubbing his head and Hinata grasping his chest. Pain was eclipsing his grin -- which looked a little unsettling --, Kageyama reaching forward, looking to support Hinata.

Hitoka felt the last dregs of grief leave her, her eyes not believing what she was seeing. Hinata was alive, and not just _alive_ , but he looked _healthy._  Even if he had survived without the woman's help, he would never look in such good health. It was impossible in their line of work. The only trace of Hinata's childhood affliction was the dirty clothes on his back.

"Kageyama, Yacchan, I can breath! I can breath!" The boy attempted to sit up, but Kiyoko stopped him.

"You should not move for awhile," she stated, going about checking his pulse. When that seemed to please her, she sat back once again, closing her eyes in a meditative way. Or, at least, that's what Hitoka thought it was, since she was probably the least worldly person alive.

Hinata seemed to just notice Kiyoko was there, too caught up with Kageyama. He didn't meet her eyes, only stealing glances, playing with his hands. His face was also flushed, for whatever reason. Hitoka prayed he wasn't fevered once again.

"How did you save him?" Hitoka asked in wonder.

The woman avoided the blonde's look, her eyes darting every which way, avoiding the attention of all three of the other teens. Wiping the dirt off her lap, she stood, wobbling a bit on her feet. Hitoka gripped her arm, steadying the other woman. Kiyoko flinched, looking away.

"Are you okay, ma'am?" Kageyama inquired, Hinata echoing him.

"I am fine, thank you. I will ask all of you to come with me, as you all seem to be in need of medical attention."

"Why should we trust you?" That was Kageyama (again), helping Hinata stand, the smaller man using him to lean on.  

"Well, she did save me didn't she?" The ginger spoke up, grinning as he took another exaggerated deep breath of the damp air. "She wouldn't do..," Hinata paused, tilting his head, "whatever she did to save me, just to turn out to be a noble murderess that lures people into her trap, right?"

When no one answers, he asked again, "Right?"

"R-right," Hitoka spoke up. Despite her shaky voice, she was positive that this woman meant them no harm, and she felt bad that they were accusing her when she had just saved their friend's life. Kiyoko didn't seem bothered by the suspicion, only worn out.

"If it makes you feel any safer, my name is Shimizu Kiyoko," Kageyama choked, "my father owns the non-profit hospital."

"There ain't no such thing as "non-profit" in this city."

Hinata groaned dramatically, "Kageyama..."

"We'll come with you, Shimizu-san. Please forgive our suspicions, but..."

"I understand." Shimizu smiled softly then, at Hitoka, who had spoken. The blonde blushed, playing with her hands nervously.

Ignoring Kageyama's short protest, they all let Shimizu lead them back to her carriage.

* * *

When they got back to the lavender -- or powder blue -- carriage, the driver immediately raced over to Kiyoko, checking her over.

"Are you okay, Kiyoko?"

She lifted her hands in a ceasing motion, which made the silver haired male back off slightly, though he hovered behind her as she walked to the carriage door.

"I'm fine, Suga."

This Suga person sighed, then made a show of helping each of them into the carriage, smiling warmly as he did. He didn't seem very threatening (almost everyone was threatening to Hitoka), his grin making the corners of his eyes wrinkle, the beauty mark next to his left eye less noticable when he did; someone with a smile like that, had to be kind.

The interior of the carriage was just as lush and luxurious as the exterior; the cushions were plush and soft to the touch, the ceiling surprisingly high. Hitoka felt too dirty to be seated in it, out of place. They all fit comfortablely in it as Hitoka had predicted, Kageyama, Hinata and herself sitting on one side, the one directly behind the driver, while Shimizu sat across from them, her expression blank, no trace of the fatigue Hitoka had seen earlier.

Since they were across from each other, it was only normal that Hitoka would take the time to study their savior. She could only describe Shimizu as beautiful. Her eyes, a sort of gray color, something that Hitoka usually got tired of seeing looked new and mysterious on the other woman, framed by spectacles. Her lips were perfectly shaped, a distinctive mole on the left side of her chin. _Sexy_.

Even more intriguing, Shimizu appeared to wear trousers. _Pants_. They were fitted up to her mid thigh, where they plumed out. Her blouse was usual of women of her class, a soft blue that went nice with the brown trousers. She had to be brave to wear such a masculine thing in public, her status most likely protecting her from too much scrutiny or outright scorn (that did not exclude whisperings behind her back). Hitoka looked away, confused at the flushed feeling the sight brought to her cheeks.

"It seems I have neglected to ask you your names, I apologize." Shimizu said, disrupting the quiet atmosphere. Hitoka was grateful.

"I'm Hinata Shouyou, this grump next to me is Kageyama Tobio, and she's Yachi Hitoka!" Hinata gestured through the while introductions, arms flailing as he pointed. Shimizu smiled softly at that.

It was a smooth ride for the majority trip, the few potholes flinging Hitoka in every possible direction, being the one in the middle. She seemed to be the only one with a problem, Shimizu appearing to know when every bump would surface, Hinata and Kageyama gripping the sides of the carriage. It was mostly silent, until, of all people, Kageyama spoke up.

"Are you ever gonna tell us what you did?" He folded his arms across his chest, and Hitoka knew without looking at his expression that he was wearing a scary expression. Most people shivered at the look, even Hinata at times, but Hitoka knew Kageyama was one of the few people who would never harm another, unless it would be to save their lives.

Still, he should not be giving that look to Shimizu.

Hitoka could see why he'd ask questions. It was a very rational response, because any way you look at it, what had taken place in front of them looked like magic. She had brought Hinata back to life, because Hitoka was sure, now that she had a clearer mind, that when she had left to get help, Hinata was already gone. That, or he'd be gone by the time she arrived, and he _was_. Kageyama wouldn't cry like that for any other reason. He'd been dead, and Shimizu literally breathed life into the male. If anything else, it looked that she expelled the sickness from his body.

_I wonder if it was dark magic? No, no, you're being ridiculous Hitoka, no one that beautiful could use dark magic. Maybe light magic, if there were such a thing?_

On the other hand, Hitoka was afraid to ask questions. If she asked questions, and saw everything for what it was, she felt as if Hinata would die right before her eyes once again. It was a stupid, unlikely thing, as she could feel his heat through her stiff shirt. But it was still a possibility in her mind, for him to no longer be there.

Funny how she spent all that time in denial of Hinata's illness, and now it was hard to believe he was anything else but sick, merely healed for a moment.

"Well, I saved him, correct?"

"You did and we're grateful, but I ain't gonna just leave it at that. I just want to know what you did...ma'am." He tacked on, to be polite.

"It's not something I can divulge at the moment." Shimizu's words were clipped, giving off an annoyed tone. Her face gave away nothing.

"Just let it go for now, Yamayama-kun! I don't give a damn what she did, as long as I can always breath this easily!"

And that was the end of the conversation.

* * *

The rest of the drive was uneventful, Kageyama sulking to the right of Hitoka, Hinata fidgeting in his seat to her left. Her head hurt.

When they did finally stop, it was out of nowhere. Somehow, Hitoka managed to hurt herself as always, doing the impossible by head butting Hinata, which in fact did not help her headache. The blonde tried to brush it off, especially when Shimizu got so close that Hitoka could smell her purfume. It was a wonderful smell, like rosemary and sage.

"Are you alright?" The beautiful woman asked, checking the other girl's forehead.

"I'm f-fine," she squeaked.

Shimizu gently rubbed the red spot on her head while Hinata yelled "what about me?!". Hitoka couldn't take all the attention, she was ready to self-combust.

She only began to relax when Shimizu pulled away, not waiting for Suga to come open the door for her, just as she had done when Hitoka had asked for help. Looking over, Hinata and Kageyama were so caught up in each other (lovingly bickering), she followed. Sneezing at the sudden bright light, Hitoka stumbled down the stairs.

"Woah, easy there," Suga exclaimed, grabbing her forearm before she could fully face plant.

"T-thank you!" Hitoka bowed, multiple times. She would have kept bowing, too, if Kageyama hadn't stopped her mid bow.

She turned towards Kageyama and Hinata, who were now in front of her, waiting next to Shimizu as she stood in front of the gate. It was detailed, a type of metal Hitoka had never seen before, the convoluted pattern ivy-like, and just as feminine and beautiful as Shimizu's carriage. It was tall too, boasting of wealth and prosperity. As it opened, the lady of the house gestured inside.

"Follow me."

Hitoka stopped short of entering the premises, biting her lip. It was too good to be true, to be taken in by an elegant, beautiful lady. Things too good to be true up until now had always been traps, the bosses enjoying the dying hope on the children's faces, each time the optimism lighting up their eyes dimmer. Taking a deep breath, she took the step over the threshold of the gate, letting herself hope once more.

Shimizu was watching her when she opened her eyes, her gaze flickering over to Hinata once she saw Hitoka looking back at her. Had she seen the blonde's hesitation? Hitoka hoped she wasn't taking offense.

Walking as quickly as her smarting legs allowed, she caught up to the others. Hinata knocked shoulders with her, actually standing on his own, though she could see the fatigue in his bright brown eyes. He'd need to rest, but he was similar to a baby animal, fighting sleep even as his eyelids drooped.

"Kiyoko-saaaan~"

Two flashes passed her peripheral vision, heading straight for Shimizu. Was she in danger?! As they closed in, Shimizu ducked, the two blurred lumps jumping straight over her and crashing in a heap.

"Kiyoko-san! You're finally back!" Bellowed one, who was smaller. His hair was unnaturally spiked, with one tip dyed blond in the front. He seemed non threatening to Hitoka, since he was about as tall as she was, but his energy was too much for her and gave off a dangerous air.

"We've been waiting for you!" Said the other, this one _definitely_ scary. He was shirtless, the sleeves of his shirt tied around his hips, his trousers having holes in them. Bald, with tattoos on his biceps muscles. All in all he looked like a thug. Hitoka began to sweat.

"Tanaka! Noya, stop it, we have guests!" The driver, Suga, scolded. He had ran up behind them, grabbing their necks. Giving the other male sheepish looks, Noya and Tanaka (she wasn't sure which was which) deflated slightly.

"Sorry, sorry!" The bald one amended. Then his eyes drifted towards them. Hitoka flinched, Hinata eyes widened in admiration, Kageyama looked confused, and Shimizu sighed. "We just wanted to make sure you're okay, Kiyoko-san. We heard you got fresh meat, and we all know what that means."

The trio glanced nervously at each other at the term "fresh meat".

"I am fine, please lead our guests to the parlor."

Both of them beamed at the order, almost running over each other to get to them, gesturing for Kageyama, Hinata and Hitoka to follow them. Hinata grinned, newly energized by the two men's excitment. Kageyama followed Hinata, as he always did.

Hitoka looked back at Shimizu, who would not look at either of them. The mystery of why she wouldn't be okay worried her, since if she had somehow injured herself it would have been at Hitoka's request. Still, not wanting to be left behind, the blonde followed, not before looking back at the lady of the house.

Hitoka could have sworn that when Shimizu coughed, red coated her hand. Before she could inquire if she was alright, the elder woman had already started down the hall, her heels clicking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think please! I need all the motivation I can get for the next arc, and nothing gives me more motivation than comments and kudos (especially comments). So feel free to comment/kudos/subcribe! Thank you<3
> 
> Tumblr: eccentrick-stardust


	6. i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me a lot of trouble, I'll tell ya. I honestly think it's my worst chapter in this story, but that might be my insecurities of the new POV talking. Lemme know what you think! 
> 
> T/W: brief descriptions of small panic attack.
> 
> Unbetaed.

"I'm bored."

"Shhh!" Saeko hissed dramatically, index finger to her painted lips.

"What?! I'm not even allowed to talk now?!"

Saeko sighed, her shoulders slumping further into her crouch. She was a big busted woman, so even with a conservative high collar shirt her breasts were very noticable. Tooru cupped his flat chest in solemn sympathy.

"Quit sighing at my tits, Tooru." Saeko, somehow, could make a whisper sound very menacing, and the shiver of pseudo fear was nostalgic.

Huffing, Tooru whined, "Well, if you want me to be quiet then I can only communicate through sighs."

The plumes of smoke that surrounded them forced a cough from Tooru's lungs. They were sitting on a roof, waiting to observe their next victim, and the smell was horrendous. He could practically feel his lungs dying, protesting each time he inhaled. But, he still had a bump on his head from the last time he complained -- a mere hour ago -- so he knew better than to make another quip.

He wasn't sure what to make of this new Saeko. Normally the woman, who was like a sister to him, would be the slacker of the two, but now she acting like a _real_ big sister; all stern and serious and responsible. The brunet was one to choose favorites and he was _not_  favoring this Tanaka Saeko. It was too much of a stark difference that tripped him up.

She hadn't been this serious since _then_ and Tooru didn't like to think about that. Something was up.

Tooru was not the best at tact. Manipulation? He could get anyone to do anything he wanted if he was just given the time, but when it came to honesty he was at a loss. In this life being truthful got you nothing, so there was seldom a thing that came out of his mouth that was factual. So did he have the right to ask someone to be sincere when he was anything but?

Hacking once again at the thick grudge that hunkered through the air, he felt Saeko tense beside him, her grip on the binoculars tightening.

"Ko-chan..." he started, before he heard the clanking of horse hooves.

"This time I'm going to ask you to really shut up."

Down the dusty old road, one rarely used, was a carriage. Not just any carriage, _h_ _ers_. The same nauseating purple, one that spoke of false promises of comfort and softness. Of _life._

"Saeko," he called through gritted teeth, hands gripping his knees. His breathing began to come quicker than before, an uncomfortable weight baring down on his chest. Saeko leaned closer to him then, until their shoulders touched, her cheap perfume penetrating the heavy stink of the smoke that still caused his eyes to water. Or maybe that was anger wetting his eyes, a physical representation of his fury.

"I know. Now you know what I meant when I wanted you to shut up. She's skittish, and anything would tip that bloodhound of hers."

"Mr. Refreshing~" the brunet's soft sing-song tone held bite.

He held back a yelp when Saeko's sharp elbows met his side, hitting an already sore spot. He winced, rubbing the tender skin as he hunkered down, serious now. He couldn't be sure how Saeko knew about this spot and Kiyoko's appearance, but he was glad. Enlightened, even.

He smiled then, all sharp teeth. Tooru might be human, but the bloodlust darkening his vision spoke of an animal-like need to chase and capture. He had enough restraint to keep himself in place on the cold roof, knees skinned in his effort, as he watched his prey.

Before too long, and about nine _fucking_ laps up and down the road, something unfolded. _Finally_. A petite figured who had just spotted the carriage launched themselves in front of the horses. Tooru noticed the lack of hygiene, coupled with the slight limp and not-so-subtle shaking that this person was in shock and in bad shape. Something traumatic had taken place, and they were asking for the first person they saw for help. The brunet let out a quiet laugh, because it was _funny_ and _ironic_.

Still he observed, growing as still and quiet as possible, watching the event carry on as normal. The small person begged for help, their arms flailing and sobs echoing off the alley walls enough that the pathetic sound made their way to Saeko and Tooru. Suga, of course, was on the defense, before Kiyoko silenced him like the dog he was.

_Hate_. **_Hate_**. **_Hate_**. The bitter feeling filled him up, stretching its confines, begging to get out and sink its teeth in the too sweet flesh of its enemy. Melodramatic, really, since Tooru had amazing self control when it came to his anger. Usually. When it came to that quack and her minions, all bets were off.

"Ru, calm down," Saeko soothed.

He didn't bother to answer, though it was unlikely that in the ensuing chaos that was the young teen's frantic flailing. They -- the person looked like a young girl -- was saying something, her words stumbling over each other to get out, but Kiyoko just stood up straighter, her posture certain. She would get another servant, more than one it seemed.

When the blonde began to lead them away, Tooru began to stand.

"No, don't! Let's wait for them to return."

Tooru protested, "But then we won't know if the person needed _help_ , and not just help for a broken leg or something."

"We wait."

* * *

Waiting was not something Tooru was good at. Even as a child, when he was young enough and had enough hero worship in him, he would do whatever Saeko wanted without complaint, both he and Iwa-chan. It did not matter if she asked them to catch fog, they'd do whatever they could to capture the mist for her with zero complaint.

Now, he knew better, and he saw that everyone was the same, that there was no hero. He could see the world for what it was, unfair and unforgiving. Just as it was unfair for Saeko to expect him to sit here and wait for that fraud while he did nothing! Tooru could be seeing how she did what she did, what slight of hand or mirage or _something_!

Inside him was a match box, anything that barely stroked it, even the slightest mishap would spark flames. Every emotion, no matter how small, was fighting its way to the top, demanding to be felt. But, Tooru did not care to remember, so he did something he was best at. Ignore. Repress.

Pretend.

He was grateful that this was a small, mostly deserted stretch of road, because everything was too much. The small grains of dirt on his knees felt like sandpaper, Saeko's soft puffs of air besides him he felt magnified by ten. Tooru felt as if he would maybe pass out.

"Breath, Ru, breath."

"As if I don't already know that!" He hissed as quietly as his sharp breaths allowed. Mr. Refreshing had stayed with the carriage as Kiyoko ran off this the kid, so they had to continue to be stealthy about this.

Oh god, how he wished Iwa-chan was here. Saeko had never been able to calm his episodes as easily as he could. He was gruff about it, but he would speak lowly to Tooru, slow _and_ steady, so it wouldn't be too much for the other man. Saeko tried, but she could only ever be quiet on a stake out, her personality too loud. His presence had been stern but comforting.

Slowly but surely Tooru talked himself out of his panic, his already weak grip on the ledge relaxing. His skin itched everywhere, proof of his rage and stress marring his skin. Rolling down his sleeves to cover the surfacing welts (Saeko would freak out when she saw, surely, since he had been able to hide his condition thus far), vision clearing.

They were back.

The blonde, lead by Kiyoko, was trailed by a taller male with dark hair, a small ginger haired person leaning heavily on him. He must be who had been close to death; this was why Tooru had wanted to follow them, because, now he'll never know if the kid had been dead, or just simply injured. If Kiyoko had to use her "gift" or it was a simple matter of malnutrition and brittle bones. Tooru narrowed his eyes at the taller male.

"Is that...Tobio-chan?" He whispered incredulously. Saeko still hushed him.

"You tell me."

Saeko gave him the binoculars when he gestured for them subtly. The glass had smudges and finger prints, and he rolled his eyes as he pressed it to his face.

He took in the male's figure, confirming that it was indeed Tobio. Tooru could recognize that horrible haircut and pitiful limp anywhere. He had worked with Tobio multiple times, when they needed a job done cheap. The brunet had felt bad for the boy, even though he got on his nerves to no end. Getting on his nerves as in being ridiculously good at everything that it was obnoxious.

Moving to observe the real target, Tooru took in the sight of his enemy. She was as beautiful as ever, and she still had the courage to wear those pants of hers. The last time he had seen her, she had been wearing a pair of pants under her skirt, making the whole outfit awkward and bulky. He had been awed by her courage and strength, especially since she couldn't have been more than fourteen then, but now even that simple memory was warped by her actions.

Taking in the scene, Tooru concluded that the blonde was indeed female; he could see the extra attention Kiyoko payed to her, the subtle way she stood closer to the small girl, eyes softer. Kiyoko was only ever interested in women when she had that look, and Tooru had to admit that the other girl had that cute innocence about her, or would be if she got all that gunk off and a clean pair of clothes.

Tobio gently held the red head, and Tooru suppressed a snort. Wow, he would have never thought he'd see his little Tobio-chan smitten, but it was happening before his eyes. Gripping the binoculars tightly, he shook himself from his thoughts and focused on the real target as she and the other's went in the ugly frilly carriage, the guard dog's presence a nuisance; if Suga were not there, Saeko and Tooru could descend and attack Kiyoko if needed. Tobio was too busy with his love, and the blonde probably had the strength of a wet kitten, and Kiyoko could not possibly fight both of them if it came down to it.

But, when it came down to it, that was never an option for Tooru. He needed to plan, to plot. He did not simply want to kill her, no. Tooru wanted answers, and for Kiyoko to be in as much pain as possible; whether that pain was mental or emotional, he did not discriminate, as long as she felt an inkling of his suffering, than he knew it would be enough to break her. She was weak, she was vulnerable, and they knew it, or Suga would not be her driver and escort. He was too classy for that, and it seemed tacky to have your family as the help, but maybe that sentiment was only to legitimate children.

Suga stepped up, gripping the reins as he glanced to his right, almost towards them. It would be almost impossible to know they were there.

Yeah, the hound was going to be a problem.

* * *

Long after they carriage had disappeared in the horizon, Tooru sat there, grip constricting the cheap binoculars, the metal groaning. Saeko rose from her crouch, joints creaking as she stretched and grunted. Her smile was satisfied when she helped Tooru up, not even noticing the rash that was sprawled across his arms in her excitement.

"Before you say anything, my dear Ru, I have an idea."

"Oh~, Ko-chan thinking, what a surprise. Lemme hear it."

He knew she was serious when she didn't smack him upside the head, and he had to admit that the plan she told him up on that windy roof was a good one.

Kiyoko won't know what hit her, or even that she was under attack. But that was okay, when the time came she would, and Tooru would enjoy it.

She would pay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, Oikawa is the antagonist!!! But, that does not mean he's necessary evil or bad. He's a morally gray character in this (my favorite oh dear) and I want you all to know Oikawa is my favorite character of Haikyuu!! so I would never do him wrong. He's my son I'd never do that! Please let me know what you think of the turn of events! He has his reasons! 
> 
> Annnnd, my gay little heart had to include Saeko. I love Saeko.
> 
> Me: Oikawa's a morally gay- I mean gray character.  
> Jazz (my beta), in another state, while writing her own fic, probably stops typing: is Dawn making a bad pun right now?


	7. lost and found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter! This is sort of a transition chapter, it leading up to some of the bigger plot points that I'm excited about! 
> 
> Unbetaed. I tried editing as best myself, but I don't catch my own mistakes unfortunately. Hopefully there's not a huge mistake I didn't see *sweats* 
> 
> Minor T/W - sort of panic attack at the end. 
> 
> Enjoy!

For the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, Hitoka woke up in a real bed. In was the brief minutes before morning, where it was neither night or dawn, the light that was casting giving the whole atmosphere an off key feel. Hitoka sat up and felt a bit of confusion as to where she was. The double canopy bed with rich crimson blankets was completely foreign to her the night before, and she had been so tired that she had not given them much notice.

Shimizu had insisted that they stay in guest rooms; Hitoka had agreed, but only because when she thought of guest rooms she pictured the servants courtiers for whatever reason. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected to be surrounded by such luxury.

The day before had been _different_ to say the least. Shimizu had been gone for most of the day, except for dinner. Suga had lead them to the parlor, where they had been given clean clothes and directed to individual washing rooms. The blonde wasn't sure about Kageyama and Hinata, but when she had gotten there, another women waited to help her with bathing. Michimiya cleansed her hair, Hitoka squeaking in surprise throughout the entire experience, and the water had been left a dark gray, bits of ashes and dirt sinking to the bottom.

It had been embarrassing, to be so dirty that the crystal clear water that smelled of lavender had been left musty and dark; Hitoka had closed her eyes and pretended this was the blessing of her new life. The rain had washed the bad memories away, the flower scented bath rejuvenated her, being one of the few good memories in her life. And she vowed to make more, especially now that Hinata had miraculously recovered.

One thing that weighed on her mind was how to repay the kind Shimizu for all of this. Hitoka nor Kageyama and Hinata had anything to give, unless she was looking for man power, which she was sure they'd all be more than happy to provide. The small girl wanted so badly to trust that this was all out of the goodness of Shimizu's heart, but no one had ever proven that there was even such a nice thing as charity.

But she mustn't let herself think like that, it would only cloud her perception. She'd be cautious, yes, but not too suspicious. If she was fooled, it was no one's fault but her own.

Dinner had been eventful. Kageyama was still jumpy, never leaving Hinata's side for a second. Hinata, as always, was hard to keep track of, but neither of them had the heart to ask him to slow down since Hitoka and Kageyama had not seen this lively Hinata for almost a year. So the black haired male kept up as best he could with his bad knees, Hitoka just observing. The food (something _besides_ runny porridge!) was delicious, though the meat was a little under done for her to stomach, the greens and fruit enough for her.

The whole affair, Hitoka could feel eyes on her. Every time she looked up from her plate, Shimizu's gaze flitted away, glazing over the blonde. Her cheeks reddened each time, the degree of red darkening each time. She swore if she flushed one more time that she'd fry every brain cell. Suga seemed to notice from his seat next to Shimizu, as he gave her a knowing smile, eyes narrowed in mischief. Hitoka questioned whether her initial impression of the man had been wrong, as his kindness seemed to be a little warped at that moment before he went back to laughing with the short man Hitoka had learned was Nishinoya Yuu. (She still felt intimidated by his boisterous personality, but he wasn't unkind.)

Before the meal ended, Hinata and Noya had tried to out burp one another while Hitoka and Kageyama looked on in mild horror. Shimizu lightly giggled at their antics which made everyone look at her in awe, and Suga brought out sake. Needless to say, Hitoka was pretty sure that Suga, Tanaka, and Noya would wake up with roaring headaches, but drunk Suga had been pretty entertaining. Especially when he had flirted with one of the servers, dressed in a butler's outfit. The silver-haired fox had even smacked the dark haired man's ass, making Noya lose it. From the look the man gave Suga, the pretty boy's attention was not unwelcome, just inappropriate in the setting.

The whole time Hitoka had been stiff with worry. Was Shimizu going to reprimand Suga for his behavior? Maybe have him without any dinner for a few days? Perhaps breakfast? Again, the beautiful lady of the house just smiled softly as she looked at her driver, sometimes shaking her head in disbelief at the trio's (Suga, Tanaka, and Noya) antics. It was so different from anything she had seen before; a kind boss, an understanding employer. Maybe even a friend.

What did they mean to her?

Hitoka stretched, her dazed eyes focusing once again to take in the now early morning light, the sun having risen as she daydreamed. Her legs were wrapped in the long nightgown when she placed her feet flat on the hardwood floor. It was a luxurious fabric that was much too expensive for someone like her, but she had not questioned the selection when given to her.

Kageyama and Hinata's rooms were down the hall. The girl felt a sort of compulsion to check on the ginger, to make sure he was alive and well, so she did just that. Making her way down the eerily quiet hallway since they were the closest wing to the hospital side of the estate, she tiptoed towards his room.

She was in a panic when she did not find the little ginger curled up on his bed. Heart pounding in her ears, she rushed to Kageyama's, only to breathe a sigh of relief. Two heads, one black and one orange, peeked out from underneath the thick blankets; or they would be, but it appeared sometime since they had cuddled. Hinata had kicked off the blankets while the other male huddled on what little bit was left on the bed.

Breathing out slowly, she closed the door behind her.

* * *

Hitoka had never meant to get lost, she swears. She had only ever meant to find the library. She might not be able to read any of the books that were found in the shelves, but she knew that the smell would be enough of a solace during the extreme changes that had taken place the last few days. Exhaustion was still pressured behind her eyes, but once she was awake she could never go back to sleep, so she might as well explore.

The halls were long and winding, well light and furnished. The general theme seemed to be red and silver, which was a different color scheme than most, but it was elegant without being too gaudy; the trio had been chimney sweeping for years, especially Hinata, so they all got to see some of the riches from afar. Most chose gold and garnish and over extravagant details.

You could tell when the hospital wing began. Everything was white and silent. There had been no clear sign of where the mansion wing ended and the other one began, but it was not like she could read it anyway. Hitoka hesitated, before clearing the invisible line dividing the two; she was cautious and felt bad being nosy like that, but the girl was just too curious for her own good. Not every situation they had gotten into during their short lives had been Hinata's doing.

There were no patients at first, the room she had peeked into empty and sterile. In each hall there were about four rooms, so it appeared that there was enough space for sixteen patients, thirty two if each room held two.

Shimizu had mentioned that all three of them would need to get a check up tomorrow --which as of now, was today-- so it was good she knew where to go. The young woman had never given them an exact time, so Hitoka figured that they would be summoned, or lead.

She probably shouldn't be here. But it wasn't like she knew her way back, the location of her room lost to all the twisting turns. Not to mention the grand stair cases.

Hitoka was going to give up trying to think of a way out and just stay there until someone came looking for her -- if anyone would -- when she saw the boy. Or, more like a boy halfway to manhood, his shoulders to broad for his height and his arms a bit to gangly. His skin was a much darker color than she was used to seeing, a porcelain pale complexion all the rage nowadays. His hair was spikey, a shade darker than his skin, convincing Hitoka that he must be half foreign.

He was big and sort of scared Hitoka; she needed to ask someone for help, though, and beggers can't be choosers, so she rug her hands as she gathered courage to address him. He had not been at any of the dinners, and his tan skin would be noticable since it was so unusual in the conforming society they lived in. The clothes he had on resembled a workers uniform, stained and worn, his back turned gazing up at one of the few artworks that hung on the stark walls.

Taking a deep breath (he wasn't _that_ mean-looking, she told herself, he was probably just a worker and would be more than happy to help her find her way) Hitoka walked straight up to the male. He must have heard her soft steps, as before she could tap his shoulder he flinched, and turned towards her, grunting in surprise.

His face _was_  scary.

Even with the jolted look highlighting his surprised expression, a scowl was the first thing the blonde noticed; there were tracks where his skin was pinched in an irritated visage, his mouth downturned. He looked miserable, sad.

When neither said anything for several beats, Hitoka shakily said, "Uh, I was wondering if you c-could lead me back, um, to where I was in...in the...what wing was it again?" She cursed her wondering thoughts and awed mind last night for not listening, not to mention how tired she had been, but it would be helpful to know the information. "Could you...maybe find Shimizu-sama?"

All that was given to her was a blank expression, the boy frozen in his place. He didn't even seem to be breathing. Before she could inquire again, he coughed into his hand, backing up as he straightened his posture. 

"You mean me?"

Hitoka tilted her head much like Hinata did when his intellect was challenged, "I haven't seen anyone else here, s-sir."

Now it was her turn to be confused.

An irrational section of her head immediately bellowed "danger!" but that was obsurd, because there was no logical reason why this boy would want her hurt right? Wait. What if she caught him as he tried to rob the place?! But he did not appear malnourished, or dirty, he just wore older clothes, maybe the only ones he had. She shouldn't immediately assume that, right? Right?! Besides, Shimizu-san definitely had guards and the like for situations just like this one.

Evening out breaths, she stood steady. The other person shifted back and forth, probably weighing his response.

"Look, kid, I can't help you right now." He said assertively, hand on his hips. Hitoka shook her head, reaching to grasp out. He couldn't leave yet, she still needed to find a way back to Hinata and Kageyama! And Shimizu-san and Suga-san would be expecting her soon! Probably.

"Hajime?"

He jerked behind him, towards the soft voice. It was one Hitoka immediately recognized, the sweet tone when she actually talked the type of thing people memorized since it was rare.

"Kiyoko," the boy huffed, crossing his arms across his chest in indignation. He gestured to Hitoka. "This girl just walked up and started talking to me!"

One perfect eyebrow arched in question, looking quizzically between Hitoka and...Hajime. Her mouth was open a bit in surprise; of Hitoka being in a completely different wing, or that she could see Hajime. Which, it was more logical that it would be the former, but it was shaping up to be the latter.

"I can see that, calm down."

"Haah?" That was Hajime, his whole demeanor disgruntled and confused. He appeared angry, but Hitoka could tell that he had been startled by her. That was a first; someone actually being weary towards _her_.

Shimizu directed her gaze at Hitoka, her expression neutral. "What are you doing in this wing?" She asked patiently.

Hitoka knew she was not supposed to be here, and the one time she indulged her curiosity was the time she got caught. Shimizu did not seem as though she was angry, but that meant nothing in Hitoka's experience. She had always liked the ones who showed their anger, since you would know what was coming without the shock. Consciously, she knew that it was unlikely Shimizu would harm her after all the trouble she went to help them before, possibly even at the expense of her own health as Hitoka had seen the day before. That did not stop the tears from burning their way to her eyes, the nagging feeling she did _something wrong, I am going to be punished_  refused to lessen. It was muscle memory by now.

"I-I'm so sorry!!" She bowed deeply, as she pinched herself. "I w-was just looking for the l-library, ma'am."

"You can read?" The voice held a confused inflection.

Darting from Shimizu and Hajime, back and forth, back and forth, her eyes blinked repeatly to keep her eyes clear of tears. Keeping the stiff bow, she took a deep, dragging breath.

Making sure her voice no longer sounded like she was going to burst into tears (she was), she answered, "I can't, I just like...looking at them, the pictures too. And the smell is comforting."

Her shadow was engulfed by another's, the same sage concoction that was earthy and pleasant. Delicate hands gently capped her shoulders, lifting her from the bow. Hitoka had too look up to be face to face (er, more like face to chest), not even having to glance directly at them to know it easy Shimizu. The only person that had ever touched her so softly, like she was fragile. Well, now she felt silly for being worried.

"It's fine, Yachi-chan. The library would actually be a good place to talk. Come, follow me," with the turn of her elegant neck she spoke to Hajime, "You as well, Hajime."

Hajime shook his hands out, a strange gesture, before he nodded, disguised as he stretched out his shoulders as if he was ready for a battle.

It was not a comforting gesture.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! More Iwa-chan coming soon~
> 
> Now, I am swamped with school work. Got three weeks left, and they will be three weeks of hell. I'll try to get as many chapters out as I can, but I don't want them to be lesser quality so they might take longer. 
> 
> Also! I forgot to mention last chapter's title is actually a song and kinda fits my Oikawa in this. Oikawa equals angsty FOB music from the 2000s (minus the modern things mentioned lol.) I'm not embarrassed at all, cuz honestly that is my jam. 
> 
> Tumblr: eccentrick-stardust
> 
> Comment/kudos/subscribe!


	8. gargoyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever, I'm sorry! Last week was hell due to school, and I had a doctor's appointment this week as well. Good news though, since I didn't have to get my infusion this time, which is a good thing so I won't be sick for days afterwards. It would be great if the weather stayed the same for a bit.
> 
> Thanks to Jazz, for helping with the chapter title since I was stumped!
> 
> Saeko took over this chapter, her POV was only supposed to be about 500 words but she wouldn't let me. So here it is!
> 
> Enjoy!

Saeko was not sure why she agreed to this. Well, okay, that was a lie. She knew why she was here, and why she proposed this plan to her dear Ru-chan. But, that did not, in fact, mean that she was happy about this current situation. At all.

The blonde was standing once again, in all her thug glory, in front of the grandest place she had ever seen. It was something akin to a palace to her begger eyes. The delicate, intricate vine designs that snaked up the gate that protected the structural marvel looked even shinier than before.

It would all be such a pleasure to take in, since she wasn't as...spiteful as Tooru, but it was sorta hard to enjoy anything when your wrist was leaking precious blood from your violet veins. Tooru had mentioned that she needed a legitimate reason to turn up to the mansion --and since he was "sure as hell not going to go anywhere near there until I absolutely have to. Besides, they'd recognize this face"-- that responsibility fell onto her sturdy shoulders. So almost bleeding to death for the greater good (or bad, she wasn't sure) was the operative.

Well, it wasn't like she was complaining. This is what she had wanted.

The whole thing would have been slightly more convenient if it wasn't raining just enough to get her damp, the blood running down her arm washing into the puddles surrounding her, dyeing them a faded pink. Damn Miyagi, always dreary and always fucking _wet_. At least it added to her damsel in distress image she needed to convey. But fuck if this wasn't embarrassing. And the corset Tooru stuffed her in was ridiculous; how he knew how to put one on was something she did not want to know.

And her eyeliner was running, dammit. She had went to a lot of trouble to steal the good kind this time too. These things always seem to happen to her.

The plan was simple; Saeko would make her way to the gate disguised as an injured prostitute (that wasn't her idea by the way) hence the corset, and since a cut like this that could heal easily with proper treatment, Saeko would ask for refuge from her fictional pimp. It was that easy. Most good people take pity on a story such as that, and Kiyoko, admittingly, was a decent person when you came down to it. Not that she'd ever go out of her way to mention that around Ru-chan.

Saeko might be the eldest of the two, but she sure as hell didn't call the shots. It wasn't that Saeko was a shrinking violet or soft spoken, she just wasn't good at thinking things through. Tooru was the type that was good at directing and planning, using everyone's abilities to his advantage. He wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty or anything like that when it came down to it, but he was just born a leader.

You are probably thinking, if Tooru is the brain of all operations then how was this plan conceived by Saeko herself?

That was also simple. Things rush through her head at all hours of the day and night, and the lack of filter that was present meant that she voiced a good bit aloud, in the open. And once and awhile, she stumbles upon dumb luck. Usually something to so with street smarts. Saeko had never before given Tooru the bare bones of a plan that he could flesh out.

Saeko was not stupid, she just didn't particularly enjoy planning or thinking before acting. The blonde was a doer. Just watching Tooru's banter and sugar coated razor-edged exchanges with just about anyone that pissed him off was tiring, more exhausting looking than maybe robbing an old rich fellow who gasps like a rosy cheeked maiden when she flashed her tits (What was up with nipples and why are they so scandalous? They were sure to see nipple everyday, on their own chest. Was she missing some thing here?) Works almost every time.

Her acting skills were good: she could cry on command, act cheerful even during the most unfortunate times, and act like she might actually want to sleep with the men she intercepted across the well known brothel; she never did, and they still always left with empty wallets, but that was besides the point. This task would really test her talent, which were up to par with the king of masks Ru-chan.

The blonde wasn't sure how long she was supposed to stand here before help would come. Perhaps a good while, to see if someone was desperate enough for the help promised behind the threshold?

Fuck that.

Wouldn't someone, a prostitute who was running from her pimp, get scared and impatient enough that waiting wouldn't be proactive enough in the high stakes game of life? Maybe...enough to climb the monster of a gate, to attempt to get in on her own? So, in other words, if she were to break in, it would be totally logical in the grand scheme of things.

Without further thought besides "Tooru is going to kill me if I fuck this up", Saeko began preparations. Ripping the bottom of her threadbare skirt, she held it in place with her teeth as she tied it around her neck, a pouch still at the bottom. A sling. She was legitimately injured, remember. Once her messy arm was in place, nestled under her obnoxious breasts and protected by the thin covering, she abandoned her ratty boots on the side of the road. Hefting her small bag over the gate, she set upon scaling the wall one handed.

Probably impossible. Any sensible person would forget about trying to climb the intimidating gate, but Saeko wasn't exactly sensible. Sensible people often did not survive in her world, because sensible people probably had morals.

Half way up, the blonde came to the realization that she probably should have left her useless boots on, since they would have made her narrow feet just that much wider. Every time she made leeway, getting past the halfway point, she'd slide back down, the soaked bars ceasing any type of friction that would have held her in place. Saeko was beginning to regret her decision. This is exactly why she shouldn't be given too much responsibility.

During the struggle, she managed to squeeze one of her calves in between the metal columns. Taking this opportunity and praying her leg wouldn't get stuck, she wrapped the limb around the thin railing and huffed as she inched up slowly. Every few inches she covered, she'd slide down a few more. The pattern was beginning to get tedious.

She _really_  regretted this decision. But it was too late to turn back down, and she really did not want to end up hanging upside down if her leg did indeed get jammed in the bars.

Saeko lost count on how many times she had to spit wet hair out from between her chapped lips, the dampness gluing the offending strands to the side of her face as water drops blurred her vision. Cursing like a sailor, with arms burning like heated coal, she cussed out the heavens for their shitty timing. Of all the times to start pouring again.

She repeated the process of inching up and sliding down until to was a hand pull away from the top. Saeko might have felt accomplished by getting all the to the top, but the spikes that looked down at her were much more menacing up close. Once her hands were in a good position, she let herself dangle as she caught her breath.

A black blur through the sky almost forced her to let go; one hand did, so she was left hanging on with one arm, and her fear was proven as her leg was locked between the gate.

"Fuck. Shit. Fuck." She hissed, her index finger going limp from around the column, ring finger smarting.

_What was that?_

Frantically searching for a way out, even someone to possibly help, the blonde's eyes caught sight of a black _thing_.

Sat atop one of those pesky spikes, was a large black bird. The feathers were ruffled, especially the small bit of what resembled fur underneath its beak. It croaked menacingly, supremely pissed.

"Atta girl!" A roaring voice bellowed from the other side of the gate, waving something around in the thick air. Saeko couldn't see them clearly, but she could sure hear them.

A different whoop rang in unison with the slightly deeper one, and Saeko groaned as she tipped backwards ever further to evade the beast in front of her that was perfectly capable of peaking her eyes out of their sockets.

She attempted to appease the bird, "It's okay, pest, it's okay. You a girl I take it? So am I. Girls gotta stick together right? Feminism and all that stuff the  _man_ loathes. Stick it to the man why don't we?"

The bird -- a raven or a crow or maybe even a mutant creature, Saeko couldn't help but think -- just rasped again, beak open even wider, feathers even fluffier. Well, she managed to piss the thing off even more than before, apparently.

The men grew closer, enough so that she could tell they were just boys, in their teens. One had a buzzcut, and the thing he was swinging around was his shirt, his whole chest soaked. The other, slightly behind Buzzcut was small, his hair dripping and hanging in his face, the center lighter than the rest. Saeko would approve if she wasn't about to crash down how many feet, her dress already ruined by the blood slicking her navel where her arm rested.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Buzzcut snarled, standing on the other side of the pearly gate. His face was twisted into a scary expression, looking every bit a thug as she did, or maybe the water in her eyes was distorting everything she saw.

"Yeah!" The pipsqueak echoed, "You obviously don't have Kiyoko-san's permission to be on the premises, so get the hell out!"

Okay. So that meant that this climbing the oversized fence was not the best idea, and apparently it did not convey the urgency Saeko was shooting for. Damn. Now she just seemed like a thief, which was obsurd, since if she was here to steal some material thing they wouldn't know it because she would never be caught in the first place.

"Well," Saeko breathed out, "Ya see, I'm a little injured here. I figured that if I was going to bleed to death on the street I might as well at least try to get some help, yeah?" She was completely out of breath, her arm trembling to continue to hold on, if not, then she'd have two broken legs and would have to crawl back to Ru-chan.

Pipsqueak's eyes widened, his eyes zeroing in on her dangling arm, the makeshift sling waving in the breeze, completely useless now. The blonde was now thankful for the blood that soaked into her shirt. Not to mention her makeup had to be running by now. She probably resembled a clown.

"Oh shit, I think she's telling the truth Noya!" The bald one said, sticking two fingers in his mouth and whistling lowly. "Ruby!" He called, but it was unnecessary as the raven thing was already making her way to the boy.

"A little help here!"

"Yeah, yeah, I still don't trust you," Buzzcut remarked, "But our Kiyoko-san would tan our hides if she found out we left a person in need out here, especially in this rain."

"I get it. I just couldn't wait any longer for help to come. Maybe you should be more diligent next time."

He frowned, eyes narrowed, lips ready to curl into a snarl.

"Oh, Ryuu, let's just help her down now."

That never came to pass, because as soon as Saeko heard that name leave the pipsqueak's mouth, her whole body stiffened; she fell down, feet up, right into a puddle below.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter is up to par! Again, I apologize for the lateness! Please let me know what you think, I need all the motivation I can get.
> 
> Feel free to comments/kudos/subscribe/rec!
> 
> Tumblr: eccentrick-stardust


	9. collage of colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I'm so sorry this is so late. I've been having a bit of writer's block, and I've been sort of frustrated with the plot, so I had to rework some stuff in my brain a little.
> 
> I seriously wrote this chapter in one sitting, all because of one small idea which you will see in the first paragraph. The words just kept coming and it was a relief. 
> 
> It's unedited, since I just finished it, and I wanted to post it as soon as possible!
> 
> Also, I have an announcement. This will probably be the last update for awhile, since I'm going on vacation and I have no idea if I'll have wifi. But! At least I'll get to see the ocean for the first time and the whole thing is practically free since it's a family thing. Annnnd, my beta Jazz is going away on vacation too, for the whole month, and I don't like posting things without her thumbs up, because she's helped make a lot of these chapters better with her suggestions!

The library had a sky light; or at least that was what Hitoka would call it. It was a dozen different pieces of colored glass, textured to look wavy and soft, melded together until it was one large sheet of glass about the size of her huge bed. Red, teal, orange, yellow, and a strange purple were among the colors that you'd think would look out of place next to one another, but contrasted each other well. It was settled in the middle of ceiling, distorting and fracturing the light, casting a soft glow in the morning light. Hitoka felt a little beautiful under the gentle columns of light.

"Striking, isn't it?" Shimizu said softly, as if not to disturb the delicate atmosphere that had enveloped the three. Or maybe that was just the way the older girl spoke, in barely there tones devoid of any particular emotives.

"Yes!"

"You don't have to agree, Yachi-san." She replied at Hitoka's quick agreement, taking it the wrong way.

"No, I really do like it! How the colors look so good, even though you would never think to put them together." She almost tripped over her injured foot trying to clarify, but caught herself.

Shimizu's face softened a fraction, not exactly smiling, almost like the tense edges smoothed out, the creases not noticable until they were no longer there. It was nice to notice the small changes, which was something Hitoka was good at; she had always needed to read Kageyama, read the bosses, read the customers. She always had to make sure they were pleased, know their moods. If she didn't, no matter who it was, her mind strangled her in the form of not allowing her lungs to expand.

Hajime walked in front, his broad back tense, directing them to a single table under the sky light, rows and rows of books surrounding them. The smell of dust and musk and paper, particles floating, visible and colored by the light from above. It was a refreshing scent, comforting.

"So, uh, Shimizu-san, what did you have to explain?"

Shimizu gestured to a chair she had pushed out, before going to the one acrossed the table. Hitoka sputtered, since _she_  should have been the one to do something like that, since it was only due to the black haired teen's efforts that she and her friends were alive and well. And, Shimizu was a beautiful _lady_ , who should be treated as such.

Blushing, Hitoka sat, sighing in relief as she was able to take the weight from her aching foot; it was a strange feeling, something that was difficult to describe. It was as if it was numb, but it still dully ached. The skin was no longer cold, or the gross color it was before, but the pallor skin held a red tinge, similar to blisters. It was _numb_ , but it still _hurt_. See? It really made no sense. But Hitoka was never one to complain, so she chose to stay silent on the matter until her check up later that day.

A throat was cleared, deep, and Hitoka was embarrassed to realize she had zoned out completely.

"Please, call me Kiyoko, everyone does," Shi- Kiyoko threaded her fingers together, fidgeting once in a while.

At the permission to use her given name, Hitoka yelped out, "You can call me Hitoka, i-if you want to I mean. You don't _have_ to, is what I mean."

_Shut up, Hitoka. She knows what you mean._

A genuine grin graced Kiyoko's face, and Hitoka about died. Seriously, was it hot in here? Was someone allowed to be that pretty? Certainly it was a crime.

"If you say it's alright, Hitoka-chan."

Hitoka's ears burned.

"Kiyoko," chided Hajime, who until then, Hitoka forgot was there. Which made no sense since they were here because of him, to talk about something regarding him.

"Right, I apologize for getting sidetracked," Kiyoko amended, glancing at Hajime. He seemed nervous, playing with his splayed hands on the table, sullen.

"This is Iwaizumi Hajime, and he's a patient here at the hospital. One of the longest staying ones, actually. He's more like a resident, really."

Strange. Iwaizumi did not appear sick, or malnourished, nor injured. His skin was a healthy tan, his muscles well defined for someone that was around their age. He was not the most talkative, but neither was he aggressive or mean. Hitoka knew that not all sickness was on the outside, though, like Hinata's was. His insides could be hurt, his head maybe, maybe he was impaired somehow, visually or hearing wise, so he couldn't find work anywhere, as most able bodied employers frowned upon anyone weaker or lesser in their eyes.

Smoothing out her matted hair (how had she not noticed before, how embarrassing) Hitoka settled down to listen. Or ask questions, it was unclear.

"Then why was he so surprised when I saw him? Er, I mean, why were you surprised to see me." She addressed Iwaizumi directly, knowing how it felt to be talked about like you weren't even there.

"I'm not used to anyone being awake this early, besides Kiyoko and myself. Even Matsukawa and Hanamaki aren't awake at this time. There hasn't been any new patients in awhile either, any that needed to stay long. I'm sorry for how I acted, I was just...startled."

"That's okay, Iwaizumi-san. I apologize for bothering you and Kiyoko-san."

"No, no, you're fine. If you were bothering me, trust me, you'd know."

After that Kiyoko asked if Hitoka wanted to explore the vast library. Of course she took up the offer, swallowing any questions she was dying to ask, because that was rude and the subject was obviously not something either Kiyoko or Iwaizumi wanted to talk about. She was content to run her fingers along the spines of the books, the labels even more colorful than the skylight, diverse in length and width. The engraved letters, blocks and codes to Hitoka's uneducated eyes, were gilded. The massive size of the tall shelves made her feel small, but not unimportant. Little, but known, protected. It was so nostalgic.

The first time Hitoka went to a bookstore, she had still been with her mother. The memory had a dreamlike quality, so much so that if she had not had a book as proof she would be convinced she dreamt it up in the desperate attempt to have some semblance of her mother always with her.

It has been a creaky old place, the door hinges rusting off the door, so it always opened and closed with a breeze; Hitoka had always been frightened of that when she walked past it. She was a nervous person by nature. The paint had been peeling off, baring the evidence of many repaint jobs, the back of the flakes a gawdy green. Her mother always scolded her to not pick the paint off as she had always been tempted to do, her wandering eyes giving her away. They had little money, so they had never gone in.

It was only after a horrible day, more horrible than the ones before it, did her mother finally relent and take her inside. Hitoka couldn't remember what had made her cry so hard that day, only that the world had been a kaleidoscope of blurry colors. The door sort of opened for them as they drew closer, _good luck_ she had sing-songed, humming as she swung their clasped hands between them, her short arms hindering the back and forth movements. She had not noticed her mother looking behind them, making sure that no one had followed, that they were safe. Not then.

The selection was stingy, mostly how-to books, a few bibles, and a feather light childrens' book, colorful. Hitoka had been so elated, because she could understand the story by the painted pages alone! She didn't have to feel down on herself for not knowing her alphabet, or how to sound out words, all the norm for children her age. She had giggled, the oppression that had sat on her shoulders lifted for that brief visit. It was a wonderful feeling, actually being allowed to be a child. 

Her mother smiled on, gesturing to the spread out book on her child's lap, asking questions. Hitoka elaborated on the story, adding fabrications of her own to the mix, giving the big bad wolf a happy ending, letting him be forgiven. Everyone was happy in the story, every animal from lion to ferret were the best of friends, and the carnivores could live off the big bugs that flew in the air, the deer safe and sound.

Every week they would come back, whenever her mother felt they could sneak out without being noticed. Why they needed to wait for those instances, she did not know, the details were rounded at the edges, on purpose Hitoka supposed, for any memory of that place was not worth the trauma. That was what she hypothesized, at least.

Each time they went back, the same picture book was in the same place. Right where she left it. Each time she sat on the dusty floor, undeterred by the dirt, and told her mother the story. And each time she did, it changed, morphed as Hitoka began to notice more of the little details, how the fox looked at the wolf. When she mentioned it to her mother, she had scoffed.

"The fox and the lion are both boys, sweetie," she had said.

"Why does it m'tter?" Her young self asked, "They seem like they love each 'ther."

Her mother, hair twisted into her normal severe knot, leaned closer to the pages, inspecting them. She smelt of burnt cinnamon, followed by the subtle smell of lilac water.

"Hmm, I guess you're right, Hitoka-chan." She finally agreed, ruffling her hair. Hitoka had brightened, joy brimming.

It had not taken a lot to make her happy those days. She had just wanted to be with her mother, in that little corner bookstore whose name now alluded her. She had just wanted to be able to see her mother smile, which might have been a tall order, since she seldom had a happy expression.

It was strange, really, that she had remembered all that, and more, when she had to have been five or six at the oldest. But the smell of books, the mismatched array of titles, asymmetrical in order, made her think. So many memories were inscribed in the pages of each volume, every colored page. Even the bad ones, the ones of her mother and her being found out, being followed. The older woman had been lulled into a sense of security, Hitoka now knew, and that had been her mistake.

Hitoka was not sure when she began crying, but the wetness on her cheeks alerted her to the fact. The blonde felt stupid, since this had been what she wanted, she had wanted to see her mother in these shelves, but she had had no idea the effects it would bring.

Not wanting to get anything wet from her shaking hands, she stepped back from the row of books she had been browsing, only to be lost in the memories they invoked. It was stupid. Hitoka was stupid. All the emotions swirling in her gut was stupid.

Kiyoko must have noticed that something was wrong. She must have been observant, or maybe Hitoka was as just an ugly cryer, as Kiyoko didn't even ask what was wrong, only wrapping her arms across the shorter girl's shoulders, the smell of sage dispelling the hints of cinnamon that ghosted through the air. She was safe here, she reminded herself, and the lady of this house was kind. She had no reason to cry, not really, and the guilt made its way into the mix of feelings, all the blues and purples and yellows that reminded her of her mother creating a muddled brown, unworthy of the occasion.

"Are you well?"

She sniffled, humiliated at her current position. When she did not reply, Kiyoko lightly sighed, soft fingers running up and down Hitoka's back.

They stood there for who knows how long, Kiyoko silently comforting her in her quiet way. Hitoka hated being a nuisance, almost as much as she hated crying, since all she had even been good for was crying.

It was Kiyoko that broke the silence, "Do you want to learn how to read?"

Hitoka straightened like a bolt ran through her, her back going as straight as a washing board.

"Y-yes!" She announced, voice echoing through the whole room. Wincing, she forced herself to whisper as if there was a real librarian there to enforce the rule, "But, I wouldn't want to be a bother! So-so, I'm just happy having access to the library!"

Kiyoko shhh-ed her, shaking her head. "It would not be a bother, Hitoka-chan. And a library is a lot more fun when you can utilize the books in it."

"You sure I won't be a bother?"

"I'm sure."

And for awhile, Hitoka's tears were forgotten.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! I really like this chapter, to be honest I think it might be my favorite one so far personally. 
> 
> Comment/kudos/subscribe (especially since I'mma be gone for a bit) 
> 
> Tumblr: eccentrick-stardust


	10. paralyzed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late! You think with it being summer I'd write more, but no, it's making me more Lazy. I hope you enjoy this anyway!
> 
> Thank you to my beta Jazz @jazzstardust for editing this one! I know you've been busy and you have your own fic, I appreciate it so much! Love you bro~

After her quiet and rather emotional morning, the rest of the early hours continued with soothing chaos. Noya and Tanaka came upon them -- rather frantically, with a current of excitement that appeared calculated, like that of a bloodhound --  as they walked back. Shouting about this and that, the only thing Hitoka could decipher was that there appeared to be a new guest in their midst. And it was unclear if they were a welcomed one.

"Hitoka-chan, why don't you allow Hajime to take you to the infirmary, you need to be examined."

"Yes, Kiyoko-san!" Hitoka hummed. 

She had been so happy about getting the chance to learn how to read that going to the infirmary didn't put a damper on her mood like it probably would have. She had never been to a real doctor, or even gotten a physical, so this whole thing would be new, and anything new made Hitoka nervous. Now she just elected to not over think it, which impossibly worked today.

"Come on, Yachi." Iwaizumi grumbled, looking in all directions before continuing,  heading in a different way. He came off as paranoid, but maybe that was just Hitoka projecting her own anxiety onto others.  _Not everyone is afraid of everything like me._

But it continued. Every hall they walked to, he would peek both directions in the fork, his body tense until he sees that no one is roaming the halls. Even then, his body looked ready for a battle at every turn, which made no sense since everyone Hitoka had come across had been nothing but accommodating and kind... And there she goes again, thinking she had the knowledge to deduce these things about her surroundings. It reminded her that she couldn't just automatically trust everything put in front of her.

"Um, Iwaizumi-san, uh, if it's not a bother... could we, we stop at my room -- well it's not really _my_ room, just the one I'm staying in at the moment -- but could we stop there to get me something to wear since I'm still -- still in my nightgown? And it's... you know... improper."

Iwaizumi stopped mid-stride, heaving a sigh. Hitoka opened her mouth to take back her request when Iwaizumi spoke, "It's on the opposite wing, kid, though I suppose we could, but I'm not sure you can walk that far on that foot."

Hitoka gaped, looking away. "H-how did you know?"

"It's pretty obvious with that limp, I could hear how uneven you were walking. Kiyoko didn't notice, I'm sure, because she was too distracted by the company." Iwaizumi explained, matter of fact.

"I'm sorry!"

This time Iwaizumi actually turned around, the expression on his face betraying his youthful, boyish appearance. He looked, above all else, unimpressed, with an underlying irritation.

"Why should you be sorry? Some people really shouldn't apologize so much, but I guess it's their upbringing, and how shitty it is. While others really need to learn how to suck it up and admit they're wrong. Either way, both can be angering in their own right. So, don't apologize, it's not like you _wanted_  to be injured, am I right?"

Hitoka was in shock, mostly because that was the most she's heard the boy speak at once, or really, the most she's heard from him _at all_. She had not expected this sort of opinion from Iwaizumi, who seemed to be the silent type. The silent type had always been popular in her line of work because they never complained, and their earnest attitude affected the ones around them. They could often be the target of the usual bullies, but overall they were the kids the other children looked up to, and the bosses knew it. They didn't often live long.

That was such a grave thought.

"I just don't want to be a burden, Iwaizumi-san."

Iwaizumi scoffed, offering an arm to lean on, "The only way you could get in my way is if you're whiny, which is the opposite of you, Yachi-chan. Come on, I know a shortcut to your wing, since I've been here long enough to learn my way around."

* * *

It wasn't a surprise to find her old clothes missing, but it was not exactly welcome. It might be something of her past, something that was gray and covered in soot, and a size too small for her, but it would still be better than this.

"It's way too much, ma'am," Yachi croaked, hands splayed in the silken fabric in wonder.

"Nope, I'm not hearing any of it," Yui humphed, hands on her hips with authority. "Besides, it's just a hand-me-down from Kiyoko-sama, she hasn't been able to wear it for years. It's way out of fashion."

Yui, still annoyed that she had found Hitoka's bed empty when she had come to rouse the blonde, huffed and puffed as she helped Hitoka into the dress which was definitely more like a _gown_.

"This is a casual dress, Yachi-san. Shimizu-sama would have never let Kiyoko-sama go out in public in it."

" _Why?_ " For once Hitoka's voice held not even a sliver of a tremble, which was an accomplishment to say the least, but she was still so caught up in impossible statement that it only briefly passed through her thoughts.

The dress was a deep plum color, way too dark for Hitoka's light skin and hair, an extravagant fabric that felt akin to being swaddled in a blanket of the softest cotton. It hung off her small, bony figure a bit, but still looked incredibly good and expensive. It was an empire waist, loose and flowy with long sleeves, which in good sense, _did_ make for a good lounge dress. But the embellishments looked too intricate and detailed for it to be meant for anything else but showing off. If sold, it could probably pay for a whole year of food for the trio. At least. Not that she knew how to do the math.

It dawned on her once again how rich Kiyoko and her family must be for this dress to be useless to them, to be a _hand-me-down_. They were completely -- for lack of a better word -- _loaded_.

All at once the dress seemed too big, engulfing her whole, the dark color giving her a deathly pallor. It felt wrong to have a person attending her, seeing her nude, bones jutting through papery skin. The high ceiling closed in, plunging towards her, but she did her best to ignore it, her foot throbbing from the ankle down.

"I don't want you attending to me anymore." She finally spoke.

Mouth gaping, Yui looked hurt. "Was it something I did, Yachi-san?"

She almost fell from the elevated stool she stood on in her rush to reassure the brunette, "No! Of course not! I'm just... well, not... used to the attention. It feels like...too much. Hinata always says I overreact but -- but I just, I feel..."

Yui turned her around, slapping her hands on Hitoka's cheeks with surprising force.

"I don't wanna hear any of that, Yachi-chan! Every girl is a lady, and they deserve to be treated as such! Especially someone as deserving as you!"

Upon seeing Hitoka wince, cheeks reddened, Yui back peddled,"Oh, no! I didn't mean to do that! I'm so sorry, are you okay?! Oh, wait til the other's hear about this! They always think I'm too overwhelming!"

Hitoka just smiled through the stinging, the ceiling slowly receding to its proper place for now. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You have my word." 

* * *

When she exited her chambers -- that was such a strange thought, since only a day ago she was hopeless and homeless -- Iwaizumi was waiting, leaning against the wall. He kicked off when she saw her, looking bashful.

"I thought I could lead you to the infirmary, since no one appears to have thought ahead. The idiot duo showed your friends where to go just a little bit ago, so don't worry about them."

_Idiot duo? Tanaka-san and Noya-san? I thought they were busy with the new person?_

"Thank you Iwaizumi-san! I-I hope you're not busy?"

He sighed, getting that far away look on his face again. "Nah, my schedule is usually pretty sparse."

Iwaizumi was true to his word, leading Hitoka once again, still as jumpy as before. When he heard voices down the adjoining hall, he gasped before going to stand next to Hitoka.

"It's just down the hall to the left. At the end of the hall, you should meet a man called Takeda-sensei."

"Okay," Hitoka replied, but Iwaizumi was already down the hall they had just come from.

His behavior was strange, very, but not completely unexplainable. Was he at odds with the others? Hitoka had never took them for scornful people, but she had never been the best judge of character, whether it be that she judged too quickly or not enough. In fact, the trio just being here was attesting to their desperation, for they would have never come otherwise. She scolded herself mentally for that thought, but it was true. They had always been on their own before.

Still bare-footed, she padded down the hall, skirt swishing, creating a steady sound in the quiet hall, overlapping the sound of her limp. Her left foot feels more numb today, all pins and needles likes it's in an eternal sleep. She flexed her toes, barely feeling the glide of the granite floor.

She didn't want to ponder on what could be wrong.

But it turned out someone would do it for her.

* * *

Takeda-sensei is a short man, not threatening in the least. His soothing demeanor is comforting, putting Hitoka immediately at ease. If all doctors were like this, the small blonde wouldn't mind going to visits.

He smiled when he opened the door, already waiting for her to arrive. She supposed that he would know to expect her then, even though it was lunch time, because the voices had startled Iwaizumi resembled an arguing Kageyama and Hinata, along with strange squawking sounds that surpassed even Hinata's capabilities.

Adjusting the glasses that sat upon his small nose, he said, "Yachi-san, I presume? I've been waiting for you. Come, it's lunch time. We can eat before we start the exam."

She nervously entered the room, the horrors she might've expected not present. Instead, it was a stark white room, with a simple cot with a curtain around it, and a small desk on the opposite wall. On those walls were what looked like poems, framed, the slanted font curved in elegance. Hitoka had never heard of such a thing, hanging words on a wall like you would art, but somehow, it fit the doctor.

They ate quietly, Hitoka too nervous to exchange any of the pleasantries like Takeda-sensei did, who chittered on as he ate one of the small finger sandwiches he had provided. Hitoka hesitated, the hand food made with ingredients she could not automatically recognize. It had turkey on it, she knew, but the bright, nicely arranged leafy things known as vegetables were foreign to her.  Hitoka wanted to ask, but she felt stupid as it was that she couldn't read the poems on the wall, let alone not know what she was eating. She wasn't picky, though, so she ate quickly, taking tiny bites to make it last longer.

Tentatively licking the crumbs off her fingers, not wanting to waste even a bit of the food, Takeda-sensei took the dish away from her, before going to wash his hands at the small sink in the corner.

"So, Kiyoko-sama told me you had never been checked out by a doctor, so I will explain everything I am doing as I do it, alright? I don't want you to get nervous."

Hitoka only nodded, her anxiety finally rearing its head.

Takeda-sensei hummed a little song as he had her strip down to her modest shift, looking away until Hitoka was ready. He keeps his word, as he tells her the reason behind his every action, ones that were never too obtrusive. All of that kept her anxiety on an even keel, only spiking when his eyes travel downwards, towards the floor. Her foot.

"Hmm, that doesn't look very good, Yachi-san. Is it an old injury?"

The plateau spikes, her heart rate increasing, "No, sir. I got it-I got it when I was escaping with Hinata."

Takeda-sensei goes back to his desk, looking through a huge book at the center of it before he makes his way back to Hitoka, glasses slipping down his nose.

Getting on his knee, he prodded her left foot with gloved hands. "How did you say it happened?"

"Um, it was really cold," her teeth clank together at the memory, "and wet. We couldn't build a very good fire, and-- and when we did get one going, we used it for Hinata."

"I understand Hinata was pretty sick?"

Confused at the line of questioning, she nodded, "Yes. H-he was having trouble breathing. His lungs sounded bad. We -- Kageyama-kun and me -- we thought it was 'cause of our job."

He stood, dragging the wooden stool next to the cot.

"Can you sit on the bed please? I want to examine that foot of yours closer."

She did as she was told, the cot creaking under her weight. It was as hard as a rock, the sheets harsh on her skin; still, she leaned against it, welcoming the chance to get the pressure off her aching foot.

Hitoka barely felt his touch, as he gently set her foot on the bed. The sensation from earlier was back, similar to needles sticking her skin, only never bleeding, never cutting skin. It felt detached, like it couldn't be hers, because if it was she was in _big_  trouble. There was no way this was something as simple as the cold dampness she had experienced the night of their escape. Couldn't be, or it would have already been corrected.

The doctor narrowed his eyes as he studied it, flexed her toes, pressed his finger into the flesh, discoloring it further for a few seconds before it goes back to its dull gray appearance. Throughout it all, it had felt like someone was dragging a blade of grass against her sole, her skin, where ever he touched.

Rifling through his pockets, he brought out a gleaming object. A needle. When he pricked her skin she felt nothing. Nothing at all. She didn't even flinch.

Takeda stayed silent for a few moments, contemplating.

When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet.

"Did you feel any of that?"

The roar of her heart against her ears muffled her own response, but she was pretty sure she answered, "Barely."

Blowing out breath through his nose, he let go, setting the offending appendage back against the white sheets, making the discoloration all the more noticeable. His head was bowed, which the blonde took as a bad sign. He almost looked like he was praying, something no one has ever done for her.

"I've seen this before, Yachi-san. I almost wish I haven't." He must have realized Hitoka's growing distress because he plowed through before she could freak out. "It looks like frostbite at first. But it isn't. Frostbite would be a blessing, as a case this minor would be treatable. Maybe a lost toe, but nothing catastrophic. This...this isn't good."

Hitoka didn't say anything. She couldn't even if she wanted to, terror clogging her throat, her lungs, making it hard to catch her breath.

"Tell me, Yachi-san, have you felt any aches and/or fever, confusion, delusions, or mood swings? Have you noticed a rash anywhere, or irritation of the skin?"

She thought back the past day or two, of the panic she found herself in, the ceiling crushing her, her aching foot and ankle. Hitoka had thought them to be her acclimating to her new surroundings, the dizziness simply shock and the fast pace life she has led. The fear of feeling Hinata's breath stop. She recalled her crying in the library, the past memory that she thought perhaps lost so vivid and real that it could have happened yesterday.

Hitoka wanted to tell Takeda-sensei that he was wrong, as she hadn't experienced any delusions, at least that she could think of. Her skin felt fine, if a little too small for her skeleton. She didn't have a fever to her knowledge, and even if she _did,_  it could simply be the rain. It could have nothing to do with this illness that he was implying, guessing, she had. What he said could mean everything, or it could mean _nothing_.

He looked skywards, his glasses -- the most defining thing on his face -- crooked. " _Esurien_. I've seen this once before. I can't confirm it a hundred percent right now, it'd be impossible. But I want you to come back too see me weekly, or if any of the symptoms I've described surface." His neck tensed, his head slowly lowering, directing towards her. He looked sad, his kind eyes misty. The reaction itself was enough confirmation to Hitoka.

It was her worst nightmare. Not only would she get sick and probably perish, but she'd be a **_nuisance_** , a **_burden_**  to those around her. Hitoka refused to be that. To be someone who slows others down, that was just dead weight, pulling those attached to her down into the black depths of despair. Hinata and Kageyama relied on her to always be there, the buffer, the mediator. She couldn't keep them company if she was sick. Dead. 

"Is it contagious?" Hitoka spoke in a slow, low, barely there voice. A ghostly sound.

Takeda looked taken aback by her question, but shook his head. It gave her a brief relief, because if she was going to be a liability, a cumbersome existence, the least she would ask for was not to put her loved ones at risk. That was the last thing she wanted to do.

"We don't know much about the disease as a whole. We don't know what causes it, how to cure it, or what it even is. We only know what it does to the body, the symptoms. How it can progress. There is a treatment but it is--"

Hitoka quit listening after that, his comforting voice providing white noise. All she was aware of was the deep seeded panic, blossoming into a man eating carnivore of a plant, eating the carefully selected grains of herself, like a fly hand-fed to a Venus Fly Trap, wings already plucked.

All she could think of were thoughts that spiraled into a dark and eternal abyss. The Fly Trap thrived on those thoughts, growing larger than she was tall. 

She was going to die. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based this disease on lupus, something I suffer from. I figured if I was going to have a fictional disease, I'd base it on something I know well. Though, I will admit it's a bit exaggerated, at least for me lol. Some of the symptoms are fictional as well. 
> 
> Please lemme know what you think, it means a lot!


	11. trio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Important** :  
> I'm so _so_ sorry. This is so late, and I don't really have an excuse. I've been having a rough time writing, which caused me to begin writing ahead which let me do _something_. 
> 
> So, I've got this planned out much better! One of the major chapters, the main I've been working on, is 9k and growing, so I've been working behind the scenes! I'm so sorry I've gone so long not updating, and I honestly don't think this chapter is worth much besides showing you more of the trio dynamic....so please bear with me. Chapters will be slower, but hopefully with more content. 
> 
> Annnnd, school's starting :))). That means I'll either update much quicker (due to my procrastinating nature) or they'll be spotty. Hopefully the former. 
> 
> My lupus has been acting up as well, the changing temperatures and the heat has gotten to me...
> 
> Also, notice what fandom I've gotten into lately :)...Voltron: Legendary Defender sucked me in and won't let me leave, it was so good. You might see future fics in that fandom because I'm weak and also I nagged Jazz into watching it so~ 
> 
> Thank you to anyone who's stuck by, again I never planned to take this long!

She wasn't sure how she got back to her room, nor how she fell asleep, but as she awoke, everything was peaceful. It was silent around her, besides the soft ringing in her ears, and she sighed pleasantly. Sleep was still behind her eyelids, and she could just drift off once again, if only-

_I remember. I'm going to die, I'm going to die. It might not be right away, but the worse is only in front of me._

Hitoka's breathing picked up, her throat threatening to close. Sleep slipped through her fingers, making way for confused panic. It wasn't until a gentle touch to her forehead that her vision cleared.

"Shh, Yachi-san. It's okay."

"Takeda-sensei?" She slurred, mouth dry.

"Yes, Yachi-san, I'm right here. You passed out, which would be concerning if not for the shock you recieved. I apologize if I was insensitive to you, which was not my intention. I was too... surprised at the diagnosis, especially with someone so young."

She sat up, her beautiful lounge gown crinkled within the sheets. Hitoka would have felt guilty for wrinkling such an expensive piece of clothing, but the numbing effect the news had washed her in hasn't dried. In fact, it felt as though she had yet to hang them out to air out. She shook her head, trying to understand exactly what Takeda had said, and was able to get the message even with all his big words.

"Water?" Was all she asked, voice a bit rough. It surprised her, really, to hear it come out of her throat. It almost sounded like Kageyama, the thought making her feel a smidgen better. Thinking of the grump himself made her feel a bit less frantic before her throat threatened to once again close in panic.

"Takeda-sensei!" She winced at her own loud volume, before she managed to tone it down, "Please don't say anything to anyone yet!"

He forced a glass of water, so clear, in her hand before he answered, brows drawn together, "If that's what you want, Yachi-chan. I wouldn't recommend keeping this sort of thing secret, deception never being a good idea in these scenarios."

The bespectacled doctor must has seen something in her eyes as she stared over her glass, gulping the water down as quickly as possible.

Takeda took her unused hand in his, squeezing her fingers a bit, "I will keep it quiet for now, but if you should worsen any time soon, I'll tell Kiyoko-sama _at least._  Remember, I've met Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun, and they seem like nice boys. I don't want them to be the last to know."

The words _if you should worsen_  stabbed at her chest, but she didn't cry, not like last time. She only squared her shoulders that held whatever dignity she still owned and nodded, eyes holding the other's for a few beats before she looked away, hand fisted in the luxurious comforter.  
_______________________

Hinata bounded in first the next morning, Kageyama following behind as he always did. The smaller leaped onto the mattress, making him fall backwards. Kageyama caught him before he could hurt himself, as he always did.

The lull of the familiar was comforting, more so than any fancy bed.

Hitoka made sure to smile at the strange duo, the effort feeling less strenuous than she had predicted. Maybe it really wasn't the end of the world as she knew it, for now. She couldn't sulk for the rest of her life, however long that might be. The blonde told herself that variation didn't matter.

The night before had been a long one. Dinner had went smoothly, Kiyoko-san absent. She also didn't see any sign of Iwaizumi, either. The table didn't seem to notice, everyone acting and carrying on in a manner Hitoka deemed must be normal. Maybe he never did sit with them, laughing along at Suga's flirting, too scared and jumpy, only eating in the library, careful not to dirty any of the magnificent books. The picture fit too well for Hitoka's liking.

Never had anyone asked how her exam went, besides the normal "you all good?" from Tanaka, directed to the trio. Hinata only hummed, face too stuffed with food to properly reply. Kageyama had scowled and told him to quit being gross, even though Kageyama himself ate identically.

She hadn't thought to ask about the new arrival, and neither had Hinata and Kageyama.

"Come on, Yacchan, let's go explore or something! I'm sick of sitting around!"

"Wording!" Kageyama groused. Hinata ignored him.

"Where do you want to go," Hitoka asked.

Hinata thought hard for a moment, head tilting to over his right shoulder. It seemed he thought long and hard before he sighed dramatically, defeated.

"I don't know where anything is here. Tanaka-senpai even showed us around with Ruby and Rei! Why didn't I pay attention!" He wailed in loss.

"Your own fault."

"Shut up Kageyama, you were there! Not like you did either!"

Hitoka interrupted them before they could continue, "Ruby and Rei?"

Hinata turned his attention on the blonde, the argument forgotten. "Yeah, Tanaka's birds! They're really big and scary, but they're actually really funny. They play tricks on Tanaka all the time, like taking his shoelaces from his boots, and Noya always teases him. It's great."

From the tight look on Kageyama's face, the black haired teen didn't exactly agree with his partner.

"We could go to the library."

Pulling a face, Hinata said, "We can't read, Yacchan."

"That's okay! It's really pretty in there, it has a glass sunroof! And I think they might have a few books with pictures in them, I'm sure-" she paused, fumbling, contemplating whether to mention Iwaizumi,"-Kiyoko-san will be there. I mean, I'm not _sure_ , but I saw her there yesterday."

" _Did_  you now? And _Kiyoko_ -sama?"

"Yeah, she told me I could call her that, and she even said...she'd teach me how to read."

The ginger lit up, and Hitoka noticed how quick his breaths are, induced by excitement, and completely healthy, "What was Kiyoko-sama like? Tanaka-"

"Don't listen to everything Tanaka says, idiot." Kageyama barked, and Hinata stuck his tongue out at him. The raven grabbed his orange head to stop him from charging. Really, they fought over the littlest things.  
______________________

By some miracle, Hitoka got the three of them to the library. She was nervous about this, because she wasn't even sure that this was okay. Sure, it was fine for her to be there yesterday, but what about Hinata and Kageyama? Hinata especially, since he was a walking tornado when he gets excited.

_Well, it's a library, maybe I won't have to worry about that? It is pretty impressive, though, so I can't really say for sure._

When Hinata takes anything in, his surroundings, he stops. He becomes totally still, something rare for him, and glances around before passing judgement. The library got a strange response, something she'd never seen before.

He was quiet.

No _qwahhh_ , nor, _whooosh_. Silence.

His big eyes widened, Kageyama stiff next to him. The black haired boy reacted much of the same, but that was usual for him. In both of their eyes, for the first time, Hitoka saw awe.

Finally the ginger spoke, "Qwahhh," there it was. "Look at the ceiling, the skylight! Kageyama, are you seeing this?!"

"Of course I see it!" He replied, none of his usual gruff tones present.

"How did they get it up there? That's so cool!"

"I'm not sure, Kiyoko-san never said..."

Hinata's lips quirked just so, one of his expression that was always replaced by a grimace before it fully set, now no longer hindered, and practically skipped to the wooden table that sat in the center.

"Wooooaah, this place is so huge...you sure we're allowed to be in here?" Hinata asked. If he were sitting, he'd for sure be on the edge of his seat; standing, he couldn't keep still.

"Uh, I think, Kiyoko-san seemed okay with it, and Iwaizumi-san didn't seem to mind."

As soon as she said it, she knew she messed up. Never had they said anything to discourage her from coming back to the library, but she had never asked about her friends. Hinata and Kageyama were patients as well, so it did not seem logical to allow her and not them. But, maybe Takeda-sensei had said something to Kiyoko right now, and she was now barred from such activities?

Not wanting dwell on those thoughts, Hitoka's eyes once again spotted a ginger head, followed by a black one, the smaller's fingers running along the spines of the books as he darted through the aisles. She followed them, uneasy to leave them alone, not wanting to think of the disasters that were probable to happen if left unsupervised.

It was a familiar picture, Hinata running ahead as Kageyama followed, but never had they been slow carefree. Life had been harsh on all of them, Hinata especially, and seeing them so relaxed was a relief.

Before too long, Hinata rushed back to the table with a book in hand. It was small, and compact. Looking inside, Hinata had managed to find probably one of the only picture books.

"See, Yacchan, isn't this like the one you always talked about? Kageyama found it!"

The bindings were well intact, speaking of little use, and the spine cracked as if it had individual vertebrae when Hinata forced it fully open.

Kageyama looked over the ginger's shoulder, eyes squinted as though to focus his sight. It was endearing how he too such care to all the details, his blue eyes intent on the colorful pages that Hinata flipped through, way to fast for it to be fully viewed.

"Quit going so fast, idiot!"

"It looks better when you do that," Hinata demonstrated, going to the front cover to begin again, "Right Yacchan?"

"No way Yachi-san would think so!"

She smiled at their antics, happy that they were finally having fun, letting loose. They had never been able to be children, happy and carefree. Hope flooded her chest.

"You still call her Yachi-san? You're still so formal with her?" Hinata teased, giggling.

"W- I- Wh-whatever, idiot. Not everyone can be so...so..."

"Friendly," Hitoka provided.

"Yeah, friendly! It'll feel weird to call her...to call her...anything but Yachi-san."

"Kag-e-ya-ma, so formal for a street rat. Come on, just say it with me! Yacchan!"

Kageyama went beet red, mouth in a deep grimace as he looked at the grainy wooden table. Hitoka wasn't sure why he was so embarassed, since it would have been normal to call her Yacchan, or even by her given name, since they had been together so long they might as well be siblings. But, then again, that was most likely why they were such a good match, they were complete opposites.

"Y-y-yacchan." He gulped, looking satisfied of himself.

"Way too many Y's in there!" Hinata sing-songed.

"S-shut up!" The tips of his ear tinged.

"An extra S!" 

They continued to bicker, Hinata teasing and goading Kageyama to chase him around the library while Hitoka, the only sensible person in the trio, tried to get them to settle down; of course it did not work, nor did Hitoka have it in her to raise her voice. The duo seemed to content, making Hitoka smile despite her worries.

She would tell them...eventually. When she could no longer hide it, or when she found the right time. The trio hadn't even gotten over from Hinata being sick, not really, from the way Kageyama never let him leave his sight, the way he keeps his eyes always on the ginger, always watching. Like he couldn't believe he was actually _there_.

No, Hitoka wouldn't pop their content bubble. They could finally redeem their stolen childhood for awhile, they were finally not looking over their shoulders in fear of those around them. The blonde knew that if it came to it, Hinata and Kageyama could survive without her, while the former situation the same couldn't be said. Of course, they'd be sad, but Hitoka never felt that she was really necessary to anyone's life.

They deserved to be happy. She couldn't bring herself to ruin it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter is good enough to hold you over! I'm gonna hopefully get my shit together lol.
> 
> Thank you to my brota, Jazz @indigostardust! She's encouraged me and wouldn't let me quit which is something I needed! Check out her mer fic, Mare et Terra! It's awesome, and beautiful! And we've written a fic together, called 'who wants to be right as rain?', and will probably get a multi-chaptered fic that'll be centered on Iwaoi. So maybe go check it out~ 
> 
> Comment/kudos/subscribe!
> 
> Tumblr: eccentrick-stardust

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters are going to always be a minimum of 2k, as it gets going probably more 3k. Matters how motivated I am, and if you liked this kudos and comments please, so I'll continue to not hate this story.
> 
> { **Please do not create a Goodreads profile for this fic without permission. Thank you.** }


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